Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"For goodness sake...soft hands..."

Ok this is just a short post that I feel needs to be posted..I've been working on a real post. It's a rant, which happens with me and my roommates from time to time. So we are driving home from our luncheon, after running some errands, and for some reason we get on the subject of soft hands. Maybe from the Mighty Ducks, the subject's beginning is lost to me. Maybe Stu's hand touched my hand....who knows... So I was like ok. Let's think this through. <<<Rant begins>>>

One ex ex, so not my recent ex but my ex a while ago. We are chilling and I go to grab her hand. All the while I'm thinking, this is going to be great. I'm going to grab her hand and it's going to be feathery soft. Much to my surprise, it was like...rough... I don't know what you all ladies do that makes your hand feel like egyptian cotton, but keep it on. I was startled. I was like, "what do you do, bail hay? bare handed? Wash your hands with steel wool?" It was like reaching my hand into the fiery depths. It was like holding a desert copperhead snake.

Now...there are some distinct things that girls need to have constant. Girl's hands are expected to be heavenly... I hope I'm not asking much. I'm just saying it was a little scarey. And it was only this one girl. Everyother girl's hand that I've felt was fine. So this is probably not a finger pointing thing. 99% of girls, I feel, got it. But for those of you who don' be freaking us guys out, get that checked out.


  1. Jake, you just made my day. But really, this made my day so much better.

  2. It needs to be in the public's eye girl. haha