Monday, April 30, 2012

Katniss Everdeen. (Old post being posted.) of the unposted posts........getting posted.......redundant? Who knows...Happy B-Day Trav and now I will eat my hambruger and curly fries. ....

When I'm cutting lettuce in the produce room I get a lot of time to think. I think about all kinds of stuff.

I feel like my blog is kinda written like the hunger games. I just say what exactly goes through my mind. I feel like I have found a Katniss in my life. Its a girl I work with. Like...we don't want to be together in a relationship. Well...I mean she is an amazing girl...probably why Peeta likes Katniss so much. Not that she is the only girl, but the best one in his sphere. But I feel like more than anything she gets me through the day. So whatevs. I guess that should be a Katniss feeling, but the point is still made........(read this after reading the final one...oops...)

Next on the docket. Is there an easy way to say "I don't like you"?......the answer is no. First, and foremost, it's a negative sentence. So immediately that should strike fear, that all atempts at figuring out a nice way is going to end in nothing. However, on the bright side, think about tact. So you, and a kind of significant other, are reaching a point of question, will it go on?

It's not you it's me. ..... Probably not. It's more than likely you. haha Sorry if that's too bold. probably is. Honestly, if a guy or girl likes you, there will be a lot of things noticed. Mainly, un-do attention. Like...a lot of attention...literally. Contact initiated. etc. etc. Again...Please refer to my dating blog for more info. Looking back on it, that blog saved me a lot of time. haha

So...TOPIC CHANGE... I'm going to copy and paste this from another post entitled, Leave the lights down low....

so she knows I mean businesssss and maybe we could talk it over because I could be your best bet....

I'm never out to tick people off. I don't mean it to. I just want to tell everyone that I'm noticing a trend...that I say, is niether bad nor good. Calm down.

There is a phrase said often........Bro's know.......but I want to talk about you know.......well....before Bro's.  (Ok...I know you might have to read that sentence three or four times, but just know it's like chiasmus...or...something) Yeah I'm as shocked as you are. It's happening. Happening all too frequently. I think the same could be said for both genders. Maybe. It's like...something I'm calling, "hangers on". Just raining on parades...Just raining on them. It's whacky.

I'm talking about girls and being tight with other girls. Maybe in pairs...maybe in more than that. It's an interesting thing to see. Girls who get tempermental when her friend finds a boyfriend. Sometimes its also a girl being mean when she is the only in the apartment without a significant other. As an outsider, with less estrogen, I want to say, stop it. When my roommate started dating a girl, I didn't toss a fit. Let it go. Really. Let it go. The worst thing that can be done,by a friend, is that. True friends are supportive. Especially, when it's something like that too. I mean...honestly...I wouldn't even want a friend that did stuff like that. Really.

I saw it with my bro a lot. I was talking to a guy who lives next door. He had a roommate who just got married. He said that they would always hang out at his apartment because the roommates at her's would just be mean and dumb. And that was out of nowhere...I merely asked him about the trend and he said that...holy geez...Yeah. Don't hate me because I say it and I bring attention to it. My roommates even got stupid once upon a time. It's. Just. Dumb.

Be there when your friend is gone and be there when they're around. It's the Christlike thing to do. It will probably give you an oppurtunity to meet new people and open new doors, in all honesty.

Next...pick good friends. I don't know how to say it anyother way. If you don't like it....megabyte.

I feel like that is sorely related to the topic at hand.

Well now that that is over with........haha I mean. Wow. Controversy in Pop Tarts, but that's the thing, covering stuff like this is what it's all about. What am I writing for if it's not stuff that is happening around me?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

So...maybe I should blog.

I feel the need to do something. Blogging seems right. Going into summer I feel like things are already starting to happen. It's craziness. I have a blog post all written up, but it seems a bit untimely.

So I wrote another.

I'm also thinking about how weak I am sometimes. I guess in both mental and physical ways. Mental because I'm susceptible to all the things other people are. Even being an RM and active in the Church. It's lame. No one is ever granted immunity. I don't even think on the other side you are. God became God because continuous correct choices. Boy oh boy, I wish I could get there. Maybe that's why He's really happy. Or has the potential to be really happy, when his children aren't being knuckle heads. And with that, we make a full circle back to me. I'm the knucklehead. And when you look at it that way, it seems more and more impossible to get there. Luckily, we have the Atonement of Christ the Lord that makes any of this possible.

Have you ever wondered what Heaven looks like....or even pre-heaven...which is the post mortal spirit world? I am right now. haha I thought to myself, I bet there are trees, but why? We don't need to breath after this life....there is no death....

These are the thoughts that come when you serve a mission. You kinda move past some of the basics as Paul says "not laying again the foundation", but building on it.

When I was first converted to the church, I really loved the teachings of Joseph Smith. With that said...being converted to knowing the restoration is real, doesn't necessarily give you a testimony of God the Father and Jesus, His Beloved Son.

But you are on the right track.

I was bagging pennied carrots yesterday thinking about all of this. Where my testimony has come since before my mission. It's remarkable the shift from Joseph the Prophet to Heavenly Father and His plan. I wish I could remember the key elements of the switch. I know one conglomerate for sure.

All the Pastors.

It's funny. I don't think they ever argued, that much anyways, the need for a prophet like Moses (however every time Israel is gathered He put someone at the head), but they really knocked into our teachings of Christ. You are saved this and you don't have to do that, Paul this and Paul said that....I mean whatever....Have a productive life, pretty sure if you do nothing you aren't going to be so saved as you thought. Since then, my testimony has switched. I remember countless people who, were I not on a mission, I would have never talked to. It taught me something.

Love for everyone.

I remember meeting people, who were a little crazy, who had crazy ideas, who weren't all there, who lived unhealthy lives, who might not even be able to walk or talk, etc...yet...both them and I were trying to live life. Trying to get by. What was amazing to me is how conscious they were of what they were doing that was damaging to their spirits...whether or not the realized it.

And their faces looked the same way my face looked when I fell short.

So I could never judge anyone. Who am I to do that, who lives in the same world, who struggles with the same or similar things.

I couldn't.

That's where things started to deepen. The need for an Atonement. The universality of the Atonement and the absolute need for a perfect person to do it. As well, the great that will continue to work, here and hereafter. There are somethings I still don't comprehend, but more than ever, since the mission,

I feel Heavenly Father's love.

Monday, April 2, 2012

End of semester wrap-up 4.0.

I can't even believe its that time again. It's nuts. Absolutely, nuts. This semester has gone by so fast that I don't even know what my grades are going to be like. I can't really begin to describe this semester.

This was one of the biggest ones of my life. Winter break I made one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. It almost crushed me. Still recovering some days, but for the most part I'm good. I don't really know what the Lord has planned for me in the coming months and years. I try not to think about it and just make short term goals and try to achieve them.

I'm a senior, says BYU. Well. I have two years left. I'm sure something is down the pipeline in those two years. I'm excited for the summer. I have some plans finally. Trying to get my portfolio to look the way I want it to is the biggest one. I'm doing ok with it. It just needs more and more refinement.

I had a goal to read the Hunger Games. Basically, because I can't wait for the next movie to know what happens. That would suck. Its going to be like 4 year minimum.

A big thing that has hit me this semester is that I have a lot to learn. It's as if God is telling me He's in control and that the knowledge I have is nothing, compare to the infinite wisdom He has. I have recognized my complete dependence on Him and also the Atonement of Christ.

I brushed shoulders with Heaven this semester. I feel like, anyway. There have been times when I feel like I can say the Spirit has been strong enough that, I feel like, not much is stopping the Heavens from just opening. Haha...of course I don't know that for sure...but I surely think it.

Suddenly, I want a twix peanut butter candy bar.

Really, there are just some things I feel very strongly about learning. The gospel in my family is huge. I just want to understand the exact importance of having the Gospel in the home. While I think I know it sometimes, I don't always have a grasp on it.

General Conference has been sick. It's kinda been the fuel that sends me into the summer.

This semester, and I guess every semester, has had its own set of challenges. Some pretty trivial. Some more trivial. Some not very trivial at all. Funny. It's the trivial ones that bother me the most. Wonder why that is. I've sort of adapted the writing style of the Hunger Games. Just putting my thoughts down in present tense and not really worrying about syntax.

I need to keep praying for charity. Dang. Sometimes I want to just go nuts on people. Absolutely nuts. And can you blame me? I feel like some people deserve it. But then I think, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.......then I think...that story isn't in the orignal gospels, thanks to my new testament class my first semester.

So it's the same story. I can feel graduation upon me. Like. Literally, I already know that I'm about to graduate and make real money.

I dunno what else I'm thinking. My mind is pretty confused. Everyone talks about enduring to the end. I guess this is what my life has become. A big long thought on endurance, which is cool.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Shaw Shank Redemption. Thats dang right...<---adapted quote from Shaw Shank Redemption, because I don't swear. I've learned to at least enjoy life a little this semester. If thats what I pull away, then cool I guess. But also not cool. I learned that lesson too late. Maybe not, I guess...I guess I don't know that for sure.

I would love to help people understand what matters most. Like ice-cream cake in my freezer. I would also enjoy hanging out with a certain girl...who is being a terd ferguson about it. Straight up. Like...dang. But I feel like I'm in prison because there is nothing I can do about it. haha I can't believe sometimes how rough things are here in a place where I thought everything would be so easy. It's harder than my mission. It's harder than anything else. But I just keep going, even though the urge to punch the wall comes up every once and a while.

I'm too chicken to punch a wall. I've seen how they are made...and with my luck I'd hit a stud. And, since no one carries a stud finder, no wall punching for me. Not to mention the amount of money I'd get charged by the complex.

Ah whats this? Pizza with Bacon? Joy...thanks roommate who I won't name in this blog.

We might end up going to the Grand Canyon this summer. San Fran is probably out, sky diving is probably in for $100 bucks in St. George, but San Fran is more than likely out because I like money. And I like having enough to pay my rent. Shelter is pretty neat as well. Shields me from the elements....etc.... running water is cool too. Just making sure my essentials are met and not spent on a trip to the bay would be tight. Also...whats the point of going somewhere when you dont have any girls to go with?.......there is none. I would also like to own a bike.

So yeah. I'm in living in the 105 another year. May be the last one. We don't know. I can't imgaine BYU without my boys. Fubu is a Tubu. But I don't care. Maybe it will return to its old glory soon.

Man...Two years down. Don't know what else to say really.

Mom is almost done with chemo. She's fine. Dad and her are like inseperable. Bout time. Us boys needed to get out of the house so they could finally get all the quality time they deserve. Other than that.........just doing my thing. Trying to have fun doing it. My tenure at the Temple is up....I'll miss those guys...especially Stoney and Bro Evans...not the leader guy....the other one.

Summer 2012....the last one before the end of the world. Didn't they disprove that? Like it should've happened six months ago because the Mayans didn't account for the leap year we threw in a long time ago? much for that. Irony.

Also...the hunger games series is dang sweet. Get on it if you haven't. Hollar.