Saturday, April 9, 2011

the winter semester wrap up

It's 10:35 in the morning and feels like 3 in the why not blog? It's the first time in a long time that I've been able to sit back and relax and not have to do something. Sure I probably have some design work to do, or dishes, or taking out the trash, or cleaning in general...but I think there are just times when we need to step back. Especially after playng basketball at 7 in the morning (Which I'm loving.) It's been a great semester. It went by so fast that I have a hard time recalling what happened at the beginning of it. (Aside from we go again.)

It's been nothing short of a bumpy ride. There have been emotions and tempers flaring in my apartment and in my life in general. There have been ups that seem short and downs that seem like eternity. Also, let us not forget the Jimmer days, the days of James Taft, Fredette abou it. I've went to girl stardom with one of my posts. Shout out to the ladies who loved my "17000 girls post"...which is still quite popular...what up with that? But thats not the point of my posts. I just have an opinion.

I've also lost some friends...which...well, is nothing I've ever wanted, but what seems to be only course sometimes. I'm not the kind of guy that ever accepts that things have to be one way, with the scores of possibilites and factors in life. But...then again, usually things like that have to be mutually accepted to work. Somethings are willed by our God, though, and when accepted lead to better and more fruitful things. This has always been the case and is the case in these instances.

 With probably 2 A's and 2 B's coming in InDes all I can do is sit and wait. I can also sit and hope the spring/summer kids suck and drop out. I know that sounds mean, but I like it here and would like to get in and stay. It would be nice to know what InDes is like without all the pressure to out work everyone else. Right now I'm doing alright. This semester was scores better than last semester. I feel like I finished a lot higher than last semester and my professors have really warmed up to me. My work has definitely improved...if I knew how to put pictures on this thing I would certainly be doing that.

I've also had the added stress of Stats 121 and Geo 101. Enough said.

The future is unclear though. "I don't deserve anything", is a quote from one of my friends blogs. I know in my mind that if my pieces aren't better and I dont preform better, I don't get in. I'm not entitled to anything and certainly there aren't and participation awards. It's in or out. I don't think I've sealed my position in the InDes program in any way. I just have to watch, wait and pray. The Lord has helped me to this point. I've prayed over pretty much every piece.

I'm still looking for that special girl. When I seem to think I've found her, that's when I haven't found her. I definitely have my eyes open though...and there is some favoritism going on. haha.

I'm really excited for summer. One of my best friends, Chuckie, is getting married. I've been excited about weddings before, but this one is special. I love that kid. Never met a better example of someone who stays the course...guess that's why I nicknamed him Ol' Reliable. I might be headed out to Missouri again, I know that's make three return visits but thats ok. I'm also thinking about finishing and submitting my piece to the church art competition. It's a secret as to what it is though. If any of my ID friends read this they'll understand...but it'll be nice to do a piece that doesn't serve a purpose..that is simply trying to share a message through a medium...not be a bone or a perfectly constructed rock replica. Ugh...

"Guys if I ever work up enough courage I'm going to go up to her door, knock on it and say, 'Listen girl, me and you need to have a are so fine I just want to buy you things.'" -- me -- "Because I just don't have anyother way to express my feelings other than buying you flowers and telling you that you are most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You make all the other girls disappear. You make heaven tangible."

Hahaha...I love my apartment and the good times this semester. We practice our sweet talking hahaha...ooookkkk IIII practice my sweet talking and they just shake their heads...hahaha...but really the growth has been nothing short of amazing, we've learned a lot of life lessons together. I love them. Hand selected for this school year? No doubt in my mind.

One more...

"I don't know what you are doing right now but forget it and come with me." haha

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Babbbbaaaayyyyyy eeee aaayyyy I get chills when I'm with youuuuuu!

One of the best songs of all time by Sheriff. I love that song. Everytime I see a girl that I like...boom. In case you haven't noticed by now...I give a lot of thought into this girl business. Sure, InDes is fun, but whats the point? What point is there to anything I do to get ahead other than to support a family and perpetuate God's plan? I don't want to hang out with guys anymore. Or ever. Our apartment said that a long time ago...I don't want to see your butt on Friday. General Conference was amazing by the way. Why should anything else take priority? Sure school is fun, rewarding, you name it...but the joy comes in the home. Yeah, even sometimes I need to be hit in that head and reminded of that and thats why I was thinking in my mind...I'm glad conference is every 6 months. I feel like thats how long it takes to get off track, even if its only a smidge.

So the semester is almost over. There are a lot of things I want to write about. For priesthood lessons. I've also had occassion to give three spiritual thoughts at ward prayer. Each made me think a lot. I think I taught "Another level, another devil" at FHE. I learned that one in the hood of KC. I've also had a lot of girl moments....many of which leave me baffled. But whatever. I lou of General Conference I do have a response. A lot of guys don't date girls because some ( well....I mean a lot of) girls have a hard time communicating. That comes from multiple sources and yeah...that can be some of the worst rejection. Anyway, anyway, thats not what I'm talking about. But its true. And don't leave me any negative comments just listen. Sheesh...

I'm talking like guys make a lot of mistakes too. But right now...whats on my mind is something my roommate said. "Find someone that adores you and someone you adore and hang on." Heck yes. The problem is when you adore someone and yeah...not reciprocated. But this is it...True affection. We've been told to go on dates and this is true. I feel like thats fine. I'm talking here about how you know when you've locked something down. True affection. It's when the girl's faults disappear and it doesn't matter what they do because you know the real person. It's when the minor flaws and imperfections in her nature are trivial. When she adores you, and you adore her...and you can tell...I have my own little quote wall on my laptop full of inspirational reads...

"Tell a beautiful woman she's beautiful and what have you given her? It's a fact, costing you nothing. Tell an ugly woman she's beautiful and you offer the homage of corrupting beauty. Loving a woman for her virtues is meaningless. She earned it, it's payment, not a gift. Loving her for her vices is a real gift, unearned and undeserved, and that's a real tribute of love, because you sacrifice your conscience and reason."
That strikes me everytime, so powerful. Sometimes, when you find a girl you actually want, that gift is effortless. It's that kind of true affection that leads the guy to change and, in the words of Lenny Williams, "try to be a....betta man for you." Elder Holland said that true affection makes you giddy. Hence, baaaabbbbbbbaaaayyyy eeee aaaayyyy I get chills when I'm wth you. I mean dang, if you can't, with confidence, say that...shoot...I don't even know. Question if it has the legs to go the distance---Andy Bernard--- haha...If you can't, with confidence, say I love you. I don't even know. I could go on. I just love how Elder Holland put it in....probably last conference? Maybe. Either way...when you can look at a girl and say I trust you, you are my best friend, please be mine...thats it....thats the pinnacle. It makes me sad to see when a guy isn't around his girl...doesn't acknowledge her presence in the room. She shouldn't have to command your attention. You just get that feeling that you know... when she's gone and you feel like you are missing something...these are the feelings...

What else can I say...I feel like this is another preachy thing...but no one has to read it. I call it how it is. This is what I feel. Usually I'm right, spot on, when it comes to this guy thing.

That's that. Another piece to the guy riddle. The thing is is a guy knows when he finds that too. At least I think I do. It's only any good when it works out. Much love Pop Tarts viewers...I'll get off the girl thing soon. I just have a bone to pick right now.