Tuesday, December 11, 2012

End of the semester/year wrap-up

If you aren't familiar with my blog, well...here it is.

hahaha couldn't help it...that's super corny. At the end of the year I normally do an end of year wrap up. I just try to capture maybe what I've learned or things that happened. But here it goes...

I can't remember what I was going to write about. Oops.

The semester is long since over. All over. Just flat over. It's come and gone. Summer is gone. It's dern cold out. This time last year I had someone to share it all with. This year I have multiple someones. Which is great.

I can honestly say that there are plenty of girls in my life I'd feel happy about dating. I'd move, but at the moment I just don't want rejection. And not that that is exactly what will happen, but...well maybe that is what will happen. Lance and myself have been talking about flirting, we haven't been doing any for a while. Oops. Got to change that.

I've been interning. That has been great. I will have furniture on the market soon. And also, I've been hired. So I'm kinda the lead designer. Yay. It's really fun. I'm always learning under the hand of my boss. He's super cool.

School went well. I came I designed, I conquered. I took marriage prep. I made a piece of furniture and went on 4 dates...an all time low for me. Seventeen credit hours took its toll. I didn't even think about all that. This coming semester I'll be back in the action though.

GOALS for Christmas Break :
1. Hug Mom.
2. Spend time in the scriptures. Basically, I need to jump back in. I read them, but I haven't had much of a chance to really get deep into them. Probably my fault.
3. Have a blast with Dad just running around and shopping and stuff.
4. Make Ron a steak and teach him the ways of the great searers of past times.
5. Make more Sushi with Ronald. I have so many wraps it's dumb.
6. Make my portfolio really good so I can try to intern at puma or nike.
7. Play lots of basketball.
8. I almost forgot, but we need an apartment Christmas card. We do one every year. It's tradition. They keep getting bigger and better every year too.

GOALS for next year:
I need a wife. Basically, I'm tired of living with dudes. I hate it. I have finally reached the point of hate. Just the point of blind hate. Maybe not that bad. I deal. I've just  never met so many dudes that just don't care about community space vs. private space. Like, I don't care what you do to your room, but the living room, that's used by everyone. Take care of it. That's been my philosophy. I have just dealt with it too much. It's over.

Now I'm not going to get all desperate and weird...and creepy. If a girlie comes she comes. Rather, if a girl accepts me for me. haha Then great. I'm sure I'll ask plenty of girls out, but will they say..."hey this guy is cool, dispite his thug attitude"... or ..."Um........no." As if perfection exists. I'm trying to be a guy of guys for girls. I'm really trying. In earlier blogs you'd hear a know it all kid that thought he had it all down. Now I'm just trying to hang on to something. Also...Marriage Resume...haha that was brilliant! I thought, anyway. It makes me laugh.

So that's a goal...above all maybe the only one I care about. It's also a fun goal. Like...some goals are about getting ahead in money and wot not...but this one is fun. It's like "oh get to know  a girl real well"... Yes please. These BYU girls just got me on lock down. They're like kryptonite. I'm not superman........So it's like.....I'm just a regular man and girls are like cinnamon toast crunch.....they lose...their crunch and flavor in milk...........?.....no....girls are like....a prime cut of top sirloin they are better rare..........shoot. They are like...a hot fire...you feel warm when you are near them....I guess that's just true of anything...sharing heat and stuff. I'm just struggling to find it...but life is better with a good girl. :) like what if the world didn't have butter? or chocolate oranges? or tiny cutie oranges? or NBA Jam Tournament Edition? Shoot.

I'm just rambling. Love from this boy, merry Christmas! Byeeee!

Sunday, November 18, 2012


I have been thinking about excellence. If I'm being quite honest, it started just watching people. Maybe, it was the way I was raised. Maybe, it was something I picked up from the mission, but it's something that is deep, deep in me. The thought of excellence. The thought of doing something good. Not just good, but well. Not just well, but thorough, thought out. Completing a task from start to finish.

It's a lost art. It truly is art.

A lot of us think of excellence as something only obtainable by a few. As if Michael or Dominique, Da Vinci or Picaso, or real great men like Elder Ballard or President Monson are the only ones capable of doing great things. I don't get it.

There is something special about doing a job well. Consider for a moment that everything is a job. Everything. When you get up in the morning, when you make breakfast, when you do school work or your job, everything can be apart of being excellent.

I don't know when it became the social norm to just suck at everything. I don't know when it became a social norm for people to be dirty. I don't know when it became a social norm to feel entitled to things. I don't know, I don't care.

I just feel like we need to change. I have these problems too. The thing is there is a special feeling to doing a good job on things.

 There is one thing I have learned from being a designer. You can tell who has taken the time. You can tell who started the night before. There is less substantial information. There is a lack of substance. When you rush on something you miss the details. There is no way a design that took two weeks will ever be as thought out as one that took two days.

Consider another example, the Savior, Jesus Christ. Consider that he noticed every detail, even down to a woman touching His clothes in a crowded street. He never left a stone unturned. Can you imagine that when He washed the Apostles feet on that Sacred Occasion that their feet were left half dirty? I imagine their feet cleaner than at any other time in their life.

I know this sounds more like a church talk/sermon than anything. I just can’t imagine sometimes what’s going through the minds of people. An extra half hour to the day, taking time to consider the things less thought about will change our lives. But really though. Do something.

Honestly, I need this lesson myself. Maybe that's why I've been dwelling on it lately. But be real. Stop being lazy. There's no time like the present, says my wood shop professor. If my Mom saw me being lazy or my Dad....they'd mess me up.
Stop half-butting things. That's what my Dad would say. Stop half-butting things.



Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Marriage Resume

Alright. I've been thinking a lot about resumes. I'm a professional practices class and we have been making our own resumes. I thought it would be funny if everyone had marriage resumes. It would work something like your reputation. You would exchange resumes or hand your resume to the girl. I thought it was comical. I just thought I'd write my own marriage resume to explain the idea.

Address City St 12345
(pho) nen umbe

Currently designing eco-friendly kids furniture and I love it.

Education :
College student - Indusrial Design. 3.7/4.0 GPA. Student of life. Graduated Seminary. Graduated Institute.

Experience :
I've dated several girls. In which I learned many things about womanhood and such.
Served a mission and had to live with a sloppy dude for two whole years.
I've taught Sunday School twice to 12-13 and 14-18 classes. Taught Elder's Quoram for a year and a half at BYU.

Skills :
I feel like I have an 'ok' handle on the scriptures, but I'm not a general authority (we can learn together ( : ) I can cook exceptionally well. I like to do dishes. I like to be clean and not leave a mess for others. I always want to dress well. I play guitar, drums and uke. I've dabbled in the harmonica. I've been told I do pretty creative dates. I like to do spontaneous acts of service, especially for cute girls. I like to compliment. I bake. I'm thrifty like all Eagle Scouts should be. I can cuddle pretty dece. You may or may not know that I write a blog. I enjoy the company of babies. I can draw. I'm pretty good at working with my hands. I'm not afraid of getting dirty. I am a Smash Bro's Champion. I'm a wood-worker and carpenter when I need to be. I'm devoted to my job, design. I love good design and my house will be modernly furnished. I work hard and usually have some idea where I'm going. Did I mention I'm debt free? Unless you count the Maverick soda I own my roomie. (:

I dunno......I can't dunk. I can't bench press over 160 pounds. I'm near sighted. I'm not that fond of dogs, but some are cool. I've never changed a poopy diaper. Occasionally, I like a video game or two. I don't know how to sew exactly, but I make it up pretty well. Spiders and snakes are pretty scary to me. I will also run from a skunk. I'm not the biggest fan of camping, but I like the outdoors and scenic views. I'm a pretty weak swimmer, as in, I could save my own life just probably not yours. In fact I'd probably be a threat to your life more than anything.

Hobbies/Additional :
I like to travel. I have been from the east coast to the west coast. The pacific is cooler, a little more crazy. I like to watch movies, but only ones worth my time, so that means I'll watch anything not a horror movie because they are a waste of time and a disturber of the Spirit. I like soda. I like good food. I love my Mom. Dad is cool.  I miss my cat. I like to bike. Basketball defines me. Fresh Prince is my alternative ego. I'm not afraid to cry though I hardly do unless it's right. There is a time to laugh, to be serious and to cry. I have completed the blaze'n challenge at buffalo wild wings (which was stupid). I enjoy modesty.

My covenants are everything to me. I don't realize how powerful they are all the time, but I want to honor them. I want to be a "covenant person" and not a "hireling" (conference talk called Sacred Covenants by Bruce Hafen). The Book of Mormon is obviously way important, but the Bible is what I learned on the mission in Independence Missouri. I've never missed church unless I was snowed in or a hurricane threatened my life. I wish I could see what Joseph Smith saw in the scriptures, but I realize that takes time.

Quotes I live by :
"Nothing is learned until experienced." "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." "Anything the Prophets say goes."

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I do not get girls.


This blog is dedicated to me and my roomies, and a couple non-roomies and our situations that we hit all at once. Viewer discretion is advised.

The title works on two levels. I don't understand and obtain girls. At least haven't since being in Utah. What's the deal?

I just do not get it. Why do girls have a hard time dating guys? Maybe that's not it. Why do girls have a problem letting guys go hard? Wait. That's not it either (but probably should be). They don't have a hard time dropping guys they think aren't cool at all and don't want to spend time with. But maybe they want to keep the ones that maybe in some time distant or not so distant, but if things don't work out with other guys...yadda yadda...that they would want around...... I would submit more possible solutions, but time restricts me. It's a tangled web.

I would address this phrase. ----"I care about you."----

What the heck does that even mean? Like. Alright. You don't want to date me so..... what........you'd spit on me if I was on fire? I think that's pretty special. Or is it like..."but I still want to be friends"... its like saying..."no offense but..." and then you say whatever you feel like saying. "I care about you..." - come off it. That helps no man. I've also heard..."...but you are still my best friend"......are you kidding me? I heard in a stake conference once, "You aren't dating, but you are best friends? Well, I want to marry my best friend and did. Wouldn't you want to marry your best friend?"

Also, when you decide not to date a guy/your friend/guy you CANNOT try to hook that person up with other girls. Nothing annoys us more. Sorry, you forfeit all such privileges. For example you can't say, "Oh, look at (her/insert name) you should date her, she's sute." .... haha .... bite me, is what's going through our minds.

I feel like both guys and girls suffer from "the-guy/girl-around-the-corner" syndrome. Where they don't date a guy because that person might not be exactly what he/she/butmorethanlikelyshe expected...and...there is probably another guy that will just drop out of the sky and be everything. Well that's smart.

Surely, the answer couldn't be, enjoy the guy you already have who wants to be faithful to you.

Oh boy..."I care about you and want the best for you"...I've heard that so many times. Grow some courage and say what you really want to say and don't book-end it with a hollow feeling. "I care about you"...obviously not enough or you'd be dating me. You care enough to say find someone else. And it's like you expect that to be a happy thought for us. That's not the case. Talking to guys I know, that is the worst phrase. I'm speaking from my own experience when I say, I'd rather the girl just disappear.

Harsh, but...when you build something up and then it comes crumbling down with one swift stroke of the tongue. It's over. Vanish. It's hard to be reminded of the beautiful carpet you feel you knit together, getting pulled out from under you.

Guy/girl around the corner. Who needs them? I've heard this from one of my religion professors, "Be careful how many opportunities you let go or slip by."

There were sister missionaries in my mission once that were running out of gas on a Sunday. They didn't want to break the Sabbath and were about to be late to an important appointment so they put water in the gas tank and prayed for it to turn into gas. You know what happened? It happened and they made it to the appointment.

Or their car just died hard.

This might sound angry. But guess what? My blog, my rules. Oh boy...haha...new semester...new blogs coming down the pipe.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

So you're coming to Provo for a girl....Hi. My name is Jake, and in this instructional blog...

I'll tell you the ins and outs as to why that's dumb and try to keep you here for the right reasons.

Did you get into BYU? If yes, happy day! Enjoy school and campus life and take as many classes as possible. This is a world class education you are getting at a rediculously low price. Seriously.

If you answered no to the above, did you register at UVU? I say that because they admit everyone. If no, how about independent study at BYU? Probably, not the best bet, but still something. If you go that route is does NOT mean you'll get into BYU ever. Last but not least...but close to least is Provo College. They suck. Not really...I'm sure they do some good although...they have a commercial that says their credits are non-transferable which means that they are NOT an accredited institution.

If you answered yes to any of the no BYU questions then you probably need a loan. Loans suck...but general authorities say that it's the only OK debt. Educational debt. I mean...within reason. Don't take out a huge loan to become a 4th grade teacher......Or do! It's your life.

If you are smart you can get scholarships at BYU. It's a lot of hard work but it's so possible and so worth it. Each department has its on scholarship program, try them. Also, there are a lot of off-campus scholarship possibilities. BUYER BEWARE : if you have an off-campus scholarship you MUST have 12 credit hours of classes. Some scholarships require 14 or more hours. It's kinda jank, basically because BYU is death hard sometimes. But don't let it discourage you, it's worth it.

If college in Provo/Orem isn't what you are coming for then why the heck are you here? Provo is strictly a college town and caters to college students. Especially, Mormon college students. Nothing is open past ten. Nothing is open Sunday. There are no careers here, unless you are going to be a professor or some kinda Road Work Specialist. There is one InDes firm. There is water treatment and waste management. And restaurants like crazy.

If you are single, rent is dog-gone cheap. Unless you are feeling cool and want to live sorta up scale. BUYER BEWARE : the more costly apartments and condo's are populated by richy rich riches who drive their Daddy's BMW........ok so maybe not, but it is kinda that way. The best wards are in the chill places that aren't ritzy......which is provo ritzy.....which is like, not very ritzy.

Looking for a home? BYU housing guide....which I believe is housing.byu. Go there. Usually the farthe away you get from campus the cheaper it is. BUYER BEWARE : have a bike. Have a jacket or 20. 6 month winters baby doll and you can't live farther than a mile and a half from campus if you are single......and why would you want to anyway? On campus jobs are the best, the end. ALSO. Parking at BYU sucks. It actually blows chunks. There is enough student parking for me and two other people........literally.........if you don't drive to campus between 6 am and 7:45am, there will be no spaces for you. So just huff it.

So. The girl thing. Well. If you are coming for a girl with no other reason in mind. Joke is on you. When you get out here there are so many girls and things to do and people to meet and callings to receive, being burden with a girl already isn't the smoothest of moves. Maybe it is. Maybe it will be great. But if it isn't, don't cut your losses and head home. This place might be the cheapest, worry free college town on the planet. Love it.

Ever tasted a rainbow? Well here at BYU we intend of giving you that satisfaction. I'm Jake signing off, living the good life in Provo. Stay classy world.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

You suck. Not really. But kinda.

So I saw this...and said...man I haven't posted in a while...well now I am. It's Friday night. No date. It's summer and blah-dy blah-dy blah! (all that ref.) I don't really know how to say this any other way, but I'm just done with dating. I'm about to be 25...I really could care less anymore. Maybe saying that leads me to destruction. Maybe I should try harder says one source. Maybe I should just let people come to me, says another. Both leads to less friends I feel like. Meh. That sounds bad, but I guess spending a Friday night with a bunch of dudes doesn't make one too peppy. Hmm. I did dominate at Smash. Peach pulls out a bomb-omb and saves the day. "You will not win tonight!" I think the key to staying positive on nights like this is to just try to learn whatever it is that a person should learn while they got nothing going on. Haha...sure something like that.

I have been playing guitar. I learned a good portion of Stairway to Heaven. I've learned the beginning to Layla Unplugged and Under the Bridge by RHCP.

I've started feeling like the apartment Mom. The only one that really cleans or anything like that really in my spare time.

I'm going to learn how to sew soon. Don't really know when that'll happen.

Dad will be here in two weeks or so and my birthday is too.

(The Real You suck. Not really. But kinda. Post)

So...I've been trying some social experiments lately, just to see if maybe I can get along with people better. Not that I don't get along with people. But all people, is what I'm going for. Basically, I used this topic to get to what I really wanted to talk to.

Tell a girl you like her and its all over. Pessimistic, sorry. Optimistically, because let's just get the bad out of the way, it could start everything; joy, rapture etc. As a general rule, not mentioned in http://jbrag.blogspot.com/2011/06/dating-tips-oh-boyhow-do-i-get-roped.html <----dating tips blog----bueno----read it----it's 100% facts----it really really is all true----not really---- I only date people I've known for a while. Therein runs a risk of failure and loss-of-girl-as-friend-status. But recently I tried the, tell-the-girl-straight-out-and-figure-it-out-later method. It's not that bad. At the end its like no harm, no foul. And you live on happily ever after. Kinda. It's interesting to me that one ends well with someone you really dont know and ends terrible with someone you have come to really like. Whickety whack.

Aside - I do the friend thing because of Xan and Mak. Me and Mak once talked about the whole dating scene. We concluded that if you are good enough friends, and one asks the other out, best friends should consider it.

I dunno this is all theory any way.

Life Update por la parentals - Made my resume look spiffy. Pretty much ready to make shoes. Portland was really really fun. I pretty much love little baby childs now. Summer is going great. I'm not doing too too much,  but designing. Sketching. I want a bike, car...and a real job. I've been cleaning a lot. Our apartment always gets gross so fast. bleh. Dad comes out soon. We'll do a buncha stuff.

Sunday, June 3, 2012


So I have a blog for Mom and Joe...that leaves Dad.

Dad, Dad, Dad...Funny...in order to talk about Dad I feel like I need to talk about Mom. That should speak something to their relationship. Mom is quiet. She'll read a book and be happy. She doesn't have to do much of anything to be happy, in all reality.

Dad...is loud. Dad is active. Dad wants to be going places and doing things. Dad always took us to Cedar Point. That place is too sweet. Dad and I went on this crazy bungee jump thing on my first trip to Utah at like 12 or 13. Dad wants to Tornado chase with the guys you see on TV. They do it for like 10 grand and you chase for a week, Dad will eventually do it. Though he's 51. He has ridden over 300 miles on a  bike (or something crazy like that) in the past 3 years.  I encourage it...haha let him live life! And he's doing rather well.

Dad was the enforcer. Punishments were dealt by Dad. The thing is is Dad wanted it that way. His way of thinking was that he wanted us to love Mom and not like him if anything. (I have many many stories of Dad enforcing....haha)

I think his italiano blood gave him somewhat of a short temper (and I got it from him). Not so much nowadays, he's cooled off.

We were never wanting to help him with stuff because we could never do it right...or to his specs. However, some of my favorite memories were dad helping me make things or building the basement. That's when I was introduced to Rush, which led to my families somewhat healthy obsession with the canadian band (notice the non-capitalized canadian, sorry, when your currency is worth more than ours I'll consider it, which is pretty soon I think. Keep your fingers crossed.)

From him, is where I learned craftsmanship, the craftsmanship that benefits me today and helped me get into the InDes program.

Dad is the person I got my, go big or go home mentality and my excitement for life. It was between both Mom and Dad where excitement, scholarship and comedy met. Seeking learning, while also seeking fun...perhaps thats the benefits of having parents who are so opposite.

Dad was the source of common sense. If I wanted a straight answer, I got a straight answer from Dad. According to BYU that's what makes him a good engineer, simple quick solutions.
Speaking of common sense, my Dad has a lot of phrases, I don't know where they came from, but I do know they are good and beneficial. "If she does it to you once, she'll do it again." "Like all get out" "The bacon is on fire"

"When Mom and Dad are dead it's just you and your brother." - When Joe and I got into fights that's exactly what Dad would say...along with "SO GET ALONG."

"You have two arms and legs." - Didn't originate with Dad, but he said it enough you'd think he made it up. Really though, there are so many lazy kids today...it amazes me. I guess I know because I live with a group of my own youth...so many lost values that I Dad taught that seem to be lost with some of my peers. Frustrating....but he always wanted Joe and I to do work and to work for what we have. "If you want something bad enough, get it."

"Don't ever tell me what I can't do." - Dad was told at a young age he wouldn't amount to much. Someone needs to find that guy and tell him what's up, because he was dead wrong. I'd fashion to say that Dad became more than that guy did.

"There is such thing as soap and water." - He really didn't like that Joe and I were afraid to get dirty. But...who wants to get dirty sometimes? haha and who wants to grab something unrecognizable because of nastiness?

"Use both hands." - To me this is more of a principle of excellence. How many people half-butt a lot of things nowadays....like I said earlier....just laziness.

"Use your muscles." - Again a principle of excellence.

Dad is a stone when it comes to gospel principles. He has never flinched in living principles. He has always been a straight line. He has always been very matter of fact about all that, even stuff I learn.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

huh? wha? I dunno...

So I'll write about boys and girls again. Rant/I'm kinda angry/I'm laughing at some peoples misfortune/I shouldn't but sometimes you can't help it/until you are perfect.

Like....I'd love to not write about this, but it's my life right now. How can you tell between flirting and not flirting? I wrote about this like.......A LONG time ago. I also wish girls weren't allowed to talk to guys they didn't like. Almost as if they had a switch and their mouth that ABSOLUTELY could not open unless they had real feelings. That would be awesome. Boys could like everyone and go around talking to every different girl...only the girl couldn't answer back unless they had true feelings. This could be useful, because, one, there would be less noise polution and, two, less mixed signals. Imagine a guy walking up to a girl. "Hello!".....then silence and a blank stare in return.

That would be great.

Imagine it, when the girl stopped having feelings or something and felt that there should be a break-up the girl just couldn't talk anymore to that guy. And she would go on her merry way and there would be no choice for the guy. He would have to leave because she couldn't physically talk to him.

Bam! Problem solved. How else can it ever work? Girls are toooooo nice sometimes. Some people are like...well...how would we get to know eachother?

Ok...well...how about this. You can never flirt with a guy unless you are interested. So you would always be serious, never flirt, never smile at a guy unless feelings were real.

So with that said...Also...why do girls trip when they find out a guy would like to date her? Meh...that subject bores me.

Honestly, I asked some guys about it. They agreed....there needs to be a radar or something like unto it. Honestly I never know. When I think I do...that's when I don't. And when I really think I do, that's when I'm in for a huge surprise.

Yeah. Really though. Number two...I've been reading Stand For Something by President Hinckley. I want to lift a few phrases that struck me...and hopefully let you ponder on them.

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." - Proverbs 15:1... I hear so many complaints from men and women that they cannot communicate with one another. Can they not discuss with one another in an open and frank and candid and happy way, their interests, their problems, their challenges, their disappointments, their desires? ... It is impossible for them to love someone with whom they don't or won't talk.

Grievous words could be a lot of things.

Last quote...from Jenkins Lloyd Jones...

There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed. Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around and shouting that he or she has been robbed.

President Hinckley :
 Connected to evitably with the process of marriage is pain - physical, mental and emotional. Too many who come to marriage have been coddled and spoiled and somehow led to feel that everything must be right at all times.

My roommate:
 I feel like girls have these hopes and dreams and desires. They find a guy that they like and transpose those hopes and dreams on that guy even though that guy really doesn't represent what she thinks he does, then throws herself at him...sometimes the guy goes for it and sometimes he doesn't.

Crushes die. Love, is a constant. It is loyalty. It is reality.

Well its said. If ya don't like it...don't click it. I'm from the South were common sense prevails.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Katniss Everdeen. (Old post being posted.)

Welp...one of the unposted posts........getting posted.......redundant? Who knows...Happy B-Day Trav and now I will eat my hambruger and curly fries. ....

When I'm cutting lettuce in the produce room I get a lot of time to think. I think about all kinds of stuff.

I feel like my blog is kinda written like the hunger games. I just say what exactly goes through my mind. I feel like I have found a Katniss in my life. Its a girl I work with. Like...we don't want to be together in a relationship. Well...I mean she is an amazing girl...probably why Peeta likes Katniss so much. Not that she is the only girl, but the best one in his sphere. But I feel like more than anything she gets me through the day. So whatevs. I guess that should be a Katniss feeling, but the point is still made........(read this after reading the final one...oops...)

Next on the docket. Is there an easy way to say "I don't like you"?......the answer is no. First, and foremost, it's a negative sentence. So immediately that should strike fear, that all atempts at figuring out a nice way is going to end in nothing. However, on the bright side, think about tact. So you, and a kind of significant other, are reaching a point of question, will it go on?

It's not you it's me. ..... Probably not. It's more than likely you. haha Sorry if that's too bold.

But...it probably is. Honestly, if a guy or girl likes you, there will be a lot of things noticed. Mainly, un-do attention. Like...a lot of attention...literally. Contact initiated. etc. etc. Again...Please refer to my dating blog for more info. Looking back on it, that blog saved me a lot of time. haha

So...TOPIC CHANGE... I'm going to copy and paste this from another post entitled, Leave the lights down low....

so she knows I mean businesssss and maybe we could talk it over because I could be your best bet....

I'm never out to tick people off. I don't mean it to. I just want to tell everyone that I'm noticing a trend...that I say, is niether bad nor good. Calm down.

There is a phrase said often........Bro's before....well...you know.......but I want to talk about you know.......well....before Bro's.  (Ok...I know you might have to read that sentence three or four times, but just know it's like chiasmus...or...something) Yeah I'm as shocked as you are. It's happening. Happening all too frequently. I think the same could be said for both genders. Maybe. It's like...something I'm calling, "hangers on". Just raining on parades...Just raining on them. It's whacky.

I'm talking about girls and being tight with other girls. Maybe in pairs...maybe in more than that. It's an interesting thing to see. Girls who get tempermental when her friend finds a boyfriend. Sometimes its also a girl being mean when she is the only in the apartment without a significant other. As an outsider, with less estrogen, I want to say, stop it. When my roommate started dating a girl, I didn't toss a fit. Let it go. Really. Let it go. The worst thing that can be done,by a friend, is that. True friends are supportive. Especially, when it's something like that too. I mean...honestly...I wouldn't even want a friend that did stuff like that. Really.

I saw it with my bro a lot. I was talking to a guy who lives next door. He had a roommate who just got married. He said that they would always hang out at his apartment because the roommates at her's would just be mean and dumb. And that was out of nowhere...I merely asked him about the trend and he said that...holy geez...Yeah. Don't hate me because I say it and I bring attention to it. My roommates even got stupid once upon a time. It's. Just. Dumb.

Be there when your friend is gone and be there when they're around. It's the Christlike thing to do. It will probably give you an oppurtunity to meet new people and open new doors, in all honesty.

Next...pick good friends. I don't know how to say it anyother way. If you don't like it....megabyte.

I feel like that is sorely related to the topic at hand.

Well now that that is over with........haha I mean. Wow. Controversy in Pop Tarts, but that's the thing, covering stuff like this is what it's all about. What am I writing for if it's not stuff that is happening around me?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

So...maybe I should blog.

I feel the need to do something. Blogging seems right. Going into summer I feel like things are already starting to happen. It's craziness. I have a blog post all written up, but it seems a bit untimely.

So I wrote another.

I'm also thinking about how weak I am sometimes. I guess in both mental and physical ways. Mental because I'm susceptible to all the things other people are. Even being an RM and active in the Church. It's lame. No one is ever granted immunity. I don't even think on the other side you are. God became God because continuous correct choices. Boy oh boy, I wish I could get there. Maybe that's why He's really happy. Or has the potential to be really happy, when his children aren't being knuckle heads. And with that, we make a full circle back to me. I'm the knucklehead. And when you look at it that way, it seems more and more impossible to get there. Luckily, we have the Atonement of Christ the Lord that makes any of this possible.

Have you ever wondered what Heaven looks like....or even pre-heaven...which is the post mortal spirit world? I am right now. haha I thought to myself, I bet there are trees, but why? We don't need to breath after this life....there is no death....

These are the thoughts that come when you serve a mission. You kinda move past some of the basics as Paul says "not laying again the foundation", but building on it.

When I was first converted to the church, I really loved the teachings of Joseph Smith. With that said...being converted to knowing the restoration is real, doesn't necessarily give you a testimony of God the Father and Jesus, His Beloved Son.

But you are on the right track.

I was bagging pennied carrots yesterday thinking about all of this. Where my testimony has come since before my mission. It's remarkable the shift from Joseph the Prophet to Heavenly Father and His plan. I wish I could remember the key elements of the switch. I know one conglomerate for sure.

All the Pastors.

It's funny. I don't think they ever argued, that much anyways, the need for a prophet like Moses (however every time Israel is gathered He put someone at the head), but they really knocked into our teachings of Christ. You are saved this and you don't have to do that, Paul this and Paul said that....I mean whatever....Have a productive life, pretty sure if you do nothing you aren't going to be so saved as you thought. Since then, my testimony has switched. I remember countless people who, were I not on a mission, I would have never talked to. It taught me something.

Love for everyone.

I remember meeting people, who were a little crazy, who had crazy ideas, who weren't all there, who lived unhealthy lives, who might not even be able to walk or talk, etc...yet...both them and I were trying to live life. Trying to get by. What was amazing to me is how conscious they were of what they were doing that was damaging to their spirits...whether or not the realized it.

And their faces looked the same way my face looked when I fell short.

So I could never judge anyone. Who am I to do that, who lives in the same world, who struggles with the same or similar things.

I couldn't.

That's where things started to deepen. The need for an Atonement. The universality of the Atonement and the absolute need for a perfect person to do it. As well, the great that will continue to work, here and hereafter. There are somethings I still don't comprehend, but more than ever, since the mission,

I feel Heavenly Father's love.

Monday, April 2, 2012

End of semester wrap-up 4.0.

I can't even believe its that time again. It's nuts. Absolutely, nuts. This semester has gone by so fast that I don't even know what my grades are going to be like. I can't really begin to describe this semester.

This was one of the biggest ones of my life. Winter break I made one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. It almost crushed me. Still recovering some days, but for the most part I'm good. I don't really know what the Lord has planned for me in the coming months and years. I try not to think about it and just make short term goals and try to achieve them.

I'm a senior, says BYU. Well. I have two years left. I'm sure something is down the pipeline in those two years. I'm excited for the summer. I have some plans finally. Trying to get my portfolio to look the way I want it to is the biggest one. I'm doing ok with it. It just needs more and more refinement.

I had a goal to read the Hunger Games. Basically, because I can't wait for the next movie to know what happens. That would suck. Its going to be like 4 year minimum.

A big thing that has hit me this semester is that I have a lot to learn. It's as if God is telling me He's in control and that the knowledge I have is nothing, compare to the infinite wisdom He has. I have recognized my complete dependence on Him and also the Atonement of Christ.

I brushed shoulders with Heaven this semester. I feel like, anyway. There have been times when I feel like I can say the Spirit has been strong enough that, I feel like, not much is stopping the Heavens from just opening. Haha...of course I don't know that for sure...but I surely think it.

Suddenly, I want a twix peanut butter candy bar.

Really, there are just some things I feel very strongly about learning. The gospel in my family is huge. I just want to understand the exact importance of having the Gospel in the home. While I think I know it sometimes, I don't always have a grasp on it.

General Conference has been sick. It's kinda been the fuel that sends me into the summer.

This semester, and I guess every semester, has had its own set of challenges. Some pretty trivial. Some more trivial. Some not very trivial at all. Funny. It's the trivial ones that bother me the most. Wonder why that is. I've sort of adapted the writing style of the Hunger Games. Just putting my thoughts down in present tense and not really worrying about syntax.

I need to keep praying for charity. Dang. Sometimes I want to just go nuts on people. Absolutely nuts. And can you blame me? I feel like some people deserve it. But then I think, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.......then I think...that story isn't in the orignal gospels, thanks to my new testament class my first semester.

So it's the same story. I can feel graduation upon me. Like. Literally, I already know that I'm about to graduate and make real money.

I dunno what else I'm thinking. My mind is pretty confused. Everyone talks about enduring to the end. I guess this is what my life has become. A big long thought on endurance, which is cool.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Shaw Shank Redemption. Thats dang right...<---adapted quote from Shaw Shank Redemption, because I don't swear. I've learned to at least enjoy life a little this semester. If thats what I pull away, then cool I guess. But also not cool. I learned that lesson too late. Maybe not, I guess...I guess I don't know that for sure.

I would love to help people understand what matters most. Like ice-cream cake in my freezer. I would also enjoy hanging out with a certain girl...who is being a terd ferguson about it. Straight up. Like...dang. But I feel like I'm in prison because there is nothing I can do about it. haha I can't believe sometimes how rough things are here in a place where I thought everything would be so easy. It's harder than my mission. It's harder than anything else. But I just keep going, even though the urge to punch the wall comes up every once and a while.

I'm too chicken to punch a wall. I've seen how they are made...and with my luck I'd hit a stud. And, since no one carries a stud finder, no wall punching for me. Not to mention the amount of money I'd get charged by the complex.

Ah whats this? Pizza with Bacon? Joy...thanks roommate who I won't name in this blog.

We might end up going to the Grand Canyon this summer. San Fran is probably out, sky diving is probably in for $100 bucks in St. George, but San Fran is more than likely out because I like money. And I like having enough to pay my rent. Shelter is pretty neat as well. Shields me from the elements....etc.... running water is cool too. Just making sure my essentials are met and not spent on a trip to the bay city...though...it would be tight. Also...whats the point of going somewhere when you dont have any girls to go with?.......there is none. I would also like to own a bike.

So yeah. I'm in living in the 105 another year. May be the last one. We don't know. I can't imgaine BYU without my boys. Fubu is a Tubu. But I don't care. Maybe it will return to its old glory soon.

Man...Two years down. Don't know what else to say really.

Mom is almost done with chemo. She's fine. Dad and her are like inseperable. Bout time. Us boys needed to get out of the house so they could finally get all the quality time they deserve. Other than that.........just doing my thing. Trying to have fun doing it. My tenure at the Temple is up....I'll miss those guys...especially Stoney and Bro Evans...not the leader guy....the other one.

Summer 2012....the last one before the end of the world. Didn't they disprove that? Like it should've happened six months ago because the Mayans didn't account for the leap year we threw in a long time ago? haha....so much for that. Irony.

Also...the hunger games series is dang sweet. Get on it if you haven't. Hollar.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I'm back....

Guess who's back (back back back)....back again(gaingaingain) shady's back. I feel energized. I have a new flanel shirt that'll be wearing tomorrow. I won a freaking pound of candy out of nowhere. How sweet is that? It's pretty sweet. That's the answer.

I mean...I feel great. I'm getting better and better everyday. I'm starting to be more and more excited for the future. I keep loving things that happen. Summer is going to be sick.

It's been called the summer of self-improvement. I believe it.

We started jogging. All 4 of us. I lead the pack and we go where ever. We've found some of Provo's hidden gems. And I just feel strong right now, like I could take anyone down and run forever. It's nice.

I have a goal to be tan this summer. I mean, why not? We are all just trying to be buff and do good things. So...yeah if you see us running on the back roads and I'm shirtless like a beast...yeah...just know thats my goal. Not to look like a tool......and like...maybe don't laugh because I have like a year and a half or more of no tan coming at ya.

We realized something recently. We are boring, but now...we just roll it. At least I came to the conclusion that I need to change. I can't speak for the whole apartment.

I'm going to back to breaking. There are a couple moves that I must get down before I hang up my breakdance shoes.

We are going to San Fransico. We are trying to get a lot of people from the ward to go and make it a sweet road trip. We aren't doing so well in finding people, but we are hopeful.

I don't really know what else, but I want to get stronger. I do know that I'll have a lot time to do whatever I want. Which will be great. It might be my last summer for stuff like that. Actually, it probably definitely is. That's sad. So its time to live out all life goals possible. Wanna join? C'mon the more the merrier.

Well so. What else? Um...dunno. I had some cool thoughts today. I forgot them though. Sometimes I get good thoughts then I see or hear something that I don't like and the good thoughts poof so fast its crazy.

So I also want my testimony to be known. Joseph Smith, next to Isaiah, is the prophet of the restoration. It's just that...it's so real. So true. My testimony burns brighter than it has in a little while. There is a plan for salvation and obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel grants that. I was grateful to use my priesthood last weekend. It's not everyday you get to do that. I'm grateful for those oppurtunities. I guess, I'm always suppose to represent the priesthood soooooooo a good word goes a long way, service goes a long way as well. Charity, I like praying for that. and I'm grateful when God hears my prayer for charity.

School is almost coming to a close. I got some pretty sweet assignments. I got some pretty rough things coming up. A full portfolio is going to be due soon. I have very little done. I'm about to be a junior. I got to do some projects over the summer. Just make things. Who knows what. I'm not all certain about the futurity of my life. I do know that my lower back is killing probably because I've been sleeping on the couch. Freak. That's getting lame. I ate dinner with my future family today. At the least the Mom and the sister. I'm going to have a sister. That's pretty cool. Never had one before. Maybe it'll teach me how to be a better guy. I got my pound of chocolate. That was legitimate.

I'm grateful for my family out here. The ID kids, my bro, my roommates and my fhe fam. In no particular order. Well...maybe Joe. It's funny. Every semester seems to have its own unique things happen. Joe and Katelin. Gaining strength. Etc. My roommate coming back. I love that guy. Never met a much better person...except for For Serial Green maybe. haha :)

Also....a little more. I've noticed, and I don't know how this happens, but...sometimes one of my sideburns is longer than the other. How does that even happen? I also wonder how long it is that way. Shoot. And I fix it...just sometimes it sneaks up on me. It's happened throughout my life numerous times...I look in the mirror and kinda do theside to side head movement, like somethings off.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Joe Blog:.:My Favorite Post

So I decided to write a post about my brother. It got me pumped to think about writing a blog about someone who I have looked up to my whole life.

So Joe and I have had some great times. We grew up playing video games for sure. It would usually be me watching Joe play. I would always talk like I knew what the best games were, as if I played them. Then Joe would actually play them and beat them. He beat Castlevania 3 without dying. How is that even possible at 10 years old? Genius, probably. We conquered GoldenEye, Quarter Back Club 98, Hang Time, Jackle, Halo (all like, 8), Modern Warfare etc. He also really liked Resident Evil.......I never really got that one. Also, want to see something spectacular? Ask Joe to play Star Fox FX on Super Nintendo...its Luna Lovegood how good he is.

He was always smarter. He took harder classes. I took the minimal to get the advanced degree. It seems to me like I never saw him in school, ever. He was two years older. He got picked on sometimes. I hated that. I remember seeing it happen once in middle school. So lame. Those kids had no idea. They were considered the popular kids, but what did they know? Some challenges are hard...but I can never imagine getting picked on in school. (However, Joe has a great life and well...the gospel...) He did befriend one of them, Chandler, who really helped all that. Those two are hilarious together.

I never got much of that. Joe and I hardly ever made the basketball team. Haha...we laugh about it now. I remember some of those kids coming out with us to play at the church and we smoked them. Haha. Joe played one year of football. I'll never forget him catching a pass that he tipped to homself. I was stoked.

Also...Joe always surprised me. Like...the Star Fox thing...but...it seems like one day, out of nowhere, Joe was just amazing at baseball. Yeah, he led the little league in home runs one year. He hit one so far out of the park that the only thing that stopped the ball was the tree it hit. It was a shot. I'll never forget it just lifting off...and just going up and up until my lame sauce eyes couldn't see it anymore. Most of the time, he wouldn't make it on the All-Star team, because the players picked the team and they didn't pick him, but the coaches would call him. He was just that good.

Anyway. Joe was always stronger too. We fought with our fists I think twice. I learned pretty fast. I always thought I could take him in a heart beat. Basically, I thought....well I act tough (I was always acting like the tough guy) I should actually be tough right? Wrong! Joe once threw me over his back. I came at him again...and he did the same move again and threw me over his back. I'll never forget that. I had no chance. I remember, because he had just made the JV basketball team and was doing basketball workouts. Naturally, he was stronger than me, because I worked out..........never?... Sounds right. (EXCEPT in later years!!! I'm stronger now...sheesh...) I also once tried to punch Joe...he just pushed me down and held me down. Embarassing.

Joe is the first missionary in either side of the family. I honestly believe that if it wasn't for him going I probably wouldn't have gone either. It's funny. My parents and I knew so little about Joe's plans. Essentially, he just came home one day and was like, "Got my mission call. I'm going to Salt Lake." I remember laying on the couch...poking my head up and saying......what?......He did it all with so little knowledge to us, especially me. We talked...just not much as we should. All I remember is, Joe, Institute, and some girl. I was a bit preoccupied with my band and working, buying a huge drum set and probably some girl that I worked with.

Joe will soon be the first to get married. That's just crazy. It's nice to finally see that. Joe has been through a lot to get there. He's counciled me a lot about it all. He was telling me about a conversation he had with his roommate because he had just left a relationship. He asked my brother how it felt, what it was like to have someone, and how it worked. Joe just said that they put up with eachothers differences. That he, the roommate, needed to learn to be ok with the differences and struggles. And don't mind them. He also said that it's not what's similar that his fiance and himself have to deal with, its the differences. My Mom said something similar not too long ago. But I feel Joe has been that way for a while. He's such a loving guy. He would have probably married the first girl he dated.

That doesn't sum it up...but it's brief on one of the most stellar people in my life. I could keep writing too. It suffices me to say, though, that he's been nothing short of a great brother.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Generic Blog Post.

I need an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. Journaling just doesn't seem to do it. Maybe its because its on paper, maybe its because it could burn in a fire...who knows. I'm mid-semester of my Sophmore year at BYU. I never thought college would be so hard. I actually never thought anything would be harder than my mission. Well...surprise! It's terribly harder. It started out being a piece of cake. It started out being fun. Then things got complicated. One choice lead to another and then bam...here we are today.

Its kinda stinky that I try to find things to blame it all on. Essentially...I've chosen everything based on the people in my life. And when there is a fork there is always a harder decision. Sometimes I blame bad choices on girls (which I have made a score of them based on that) , but more recently, my major. I was talking to a girl in my class and I told her, "You know...most people just think I'm lame. But most people don't get it. This school and this major actaully does take up most of my life and if it doesn't its because I'm not putting in enough effort. It's not that I don't want to be doing other things, its just that this is consuming." She agreed and added, "Most people think 'well, yeah right, its not that bad, you can find time' ", but it literally is, I literally could, but shouldn't.

As I'm moving to my Junior year, I think back to how much has been ripped from me because of this major. I'm hoping it all becomes worth it. One of my best friends said, "School work should be HOT to a girl." Maybe... Maybe its the girl's mixed up priorities. Like...dang. But I like what I do. And perhaps thats not the only reason (I am near sighted. I am a designer. I do write in all caps. I haven't cut my toe nails in a little bit. My hair cut hasn't changed. Sometimes I wear mismatched socks. Occasionally I rewear dirty clothes. Like.... I littered once. ) ...but....

It does add up.

It does take its toll.

Do I feel lame? Yes.

I mean I've been in kinda a rut for some time now. And everytime I think I'm going to get some kind of relief, blam! Suck on this! It's the worst.

What more can I do? I served a mission. I was intense. I'm active...but I don't really have a church calling. I have 100% hometeaching and I try to serve them as much as possible. Like...yeah...I dont have a lot of friends... Most nights I sit at home with my roommates. We talk.... I'm not even good at thinking of stuff to do anymore. I mean, if anyone has some advice lay it down. Shoot me a message. I'm pretty certain there isn't much more I can do. Self-confidence is at an all time low.

Am I being over dramatic? At this point in my life I feel like I can have my Liberty Jail moment. It's almost a right. Where I can cry out, O God where art thou? Where is the pavilion that covers thine hiding place? It's at this moment where I feel like I can say...yeah...maybe I'm not like Job yet...but still Im in a bad spot. I'm tired of hearing the same ol' story. I'm tired of hearing I'll be ok. I'm done with it.

I just want to be ok.

*sigh* and I'm wasn't going to say it...but I feel I'm well within my rights haha... but I miss my best friend.........

A certain person when I first got to BYU...haha actually two people, said something to effect of....like not waiting to say things...and not beating around the bush. They are two of my favorite blog followers.

Summer Vacation is approaching....and thats something. Maybe I'll intern...or sit on my butt all summer and kick it with my boys. Welp so my blog is still doing alright despite my lack of posts...Surprisingly my dating tips blog is still getting hits....haha I did that in June last year. Dang...way to be...way to be.....