Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Nuclear 72-Hour Kit. This is ridiculous. You are warned.

So we were talking about things we should do should there ever be a nuclear attack in happy valley. My roommates (and the unfortunate fiance that got stuck in the situation) and I came up with three things that could survive the nuclear event and, therefore, we could use. Thanks to my precious Mother...who still doesn't have my Mother's Day card...oh boy probably should mail that....embarassing...but thanks to her it has become known as the Nuclear 72-Hour Kit.

I remembered on the Simpsons one time, I think, that a twinkie survived the nuclear reactor. This being said, might I offer one life saving tip? Twinkie house. Who needs bricks and mortar? Secondly, who needs a bomb shelter? Head over to your local grocer or costco and pick yourself up a box......or seventy. You know...enough to make un house. Better yet, go to the supplier and order a whole pallet load, twinkie mansion. I don't want Pop Tarts to feel out of the loop so make sure to supply your twinkie house with a box or two. I know what you are thinking, "Hey pal, I don't want to make a twinkie house. The home owners association would flip their lid!" To you I say, I have alternatives. Line your walls with twinkies. However, this is only effective if you know the bomb is coming and you can prepare. Another alternative, is something I really am excited about. I believe you can buy the batter for twinkies. Get it? Just fill your bath tub with batter. The blast is coming, jump in. Theoretically, not only will you be safe, but the blast will bake the twinkies and then you can eat your way out of the golden goodness. :)

2. Cockroaches
No one likes em but dang it, if they can save your life in an atomic blast you better cover yourself in them! Oh come onnnnn. They are just bugs. Alternative. Cover yourself in twinkies and let the roaches just kinda nibble on them. Not only is that double coverage, but you don't have to touch the icky roaches. Sure you could cover yourself in something else and then get the roaches, but it might not be nuclear proof.<---Thinker

3. Diamonds
They say diamonds are/last forever, let's put that to the ultimate test! Under the most intense pressure, these babies are formed. I'm thinking, diamond box, diamond hinges, diamond lock, three inch thick diamond walls, ---oxygen tank---, diamond all-terrain wheels, with a cockroach powered diamond propeller/engine (that way if you get stuck you can just drive your way out). Also...the diamond shelter will also have its own strong radio signal in case you are lost somewhere.

I've always had a theory that the most amazing thing to have in case of intense lava flows, is a diamond bubble or diamond raft. I had just watched Dante's Peak. Ever seen it? You'd want a diamond raft too with diamond paddles. Poor Grandma. The diamond shelter will have the rutter just to get through lava...for nostaligic purposes.

Complete the ensamble by lining the inside with twinkies for cushioning and caloric needs.

DIAMOND SHELTER FOR THE WIN. You'll be able to look nuclear blasts in the face and say, "Stop it. Just stop it. You aren't scary, you."

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Something like an awakening...

Smelly people around me got me thinking about my own aroma. This is serious business.

So I need a new deodorant. Let me tell you why. It's Old Spice. So that's good. But you know how you have to change your alarm sound because you get use to it and you stop waking up when it goes off? Well......that doesn't exactly corrolate.

But I need a new deodorant. The other day I was at work and I realized that I didn't like my own scent. It was really powerful because it went through my lab coat and my hoody. Maybe I was just perspired cutting fruit at a blistering speed and my deodorant decided it needed to work overtime. That's neither here nor there.<---cliche. The point is that I sniffed and yeah...old spice is the perfect name, because it was just that, spicey. My nose tingled a lil bit.

So I'm going to look for a new scent because I figure, new school year, new scent. <---Logic. I want to walk into class like a fresh catnip for the scent of a wolf shirt or wolf shirt in scent form... I like Old Spice because it lasts long, but I have no desire to smell spicey.

I want a wolf shirt so bad.

I don't think I'd ever wear it. I just want it...I have a shirt with Mr.T's face on it. It's too dominant. It needs competition. (If you want a good laugh search wolf shirt at amazon and look at the reviews.)

There's too many choices of scents. Axe is for tools<---new favorite word. Degree is for women. Right Guard....?...maybe. Arm and Hammer..hahahaha..let's not play, that's detergent in a spreadable solid.

Have you ever had the gel deodorant? like it comes out of little holes in an aqueous state........what the heck is that about? And when you plop it on, it's ice cold. You have to shimmy it on and , from what I remember wearing it in 6th grade, I had to flap my arms around something like a chicken gargonzola to get it to stop being cold. So stupid. Forget putting it on when you're wearing a shirt because once you touch your shirt with it, you get to live with ice cold gel on your shirt.

^^^^That was a rant about gel deodorant. It was too long. haha^^^^

 So I dunno. Well that's that. I have my roommates back. Sorry, that could be confusing. My roommates moved in. So expect more of this. Our apartment is full of it. I'm excited for school to start. I also want to play more basketball. Yes. Yes I do.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Flirting/Not Flirting and Life Update.

The people want my life, so I'll give them my life.

Yeah. So I had this conversation the other day with my brother and a great guy in my ward. He's got an amazing testimony and can bear it. Overall just a stud. Ladies? We were talking in his car after a killer fhe playing kick the can. On the way, this one guy from the ward rode with us. He tried to hook up the great guy with this new girl our ward, which listen...that's whack...don't try to hook a guy up with a girl he doesn't know. I would think he'd rather want to know the person first. That's wonkie. Anyway...{scene}...

The car ride back is nuts. Turns out, this dude started walking home with the girl he tried hooking know what...for our purposes lets call him Rick (great guy, testimony, earlier in the blog)...and the dumber broseph...will be...... Stan. Stan is walking home with the girl he tried to hook Rick up with. So we get to talking. and Rick is like yeah...Stan has got his eyes on Ann (another girl in the ward...not the one he walked home with). So I'm like, "yeah...what up with that?" Because this girl has 5 guys around her and her sister every Sunday. Weeeeeird. I mean they are cool and all, but not 5 guys cool. So I asked Rick, "Yeah man. What's with that?"

--------------He says,"I don't know, but I think all those guys are after them...or have tried."
--------------"Yeah...I don't get that." (Not that these girls are homely, but they ain't no Karen Allen. hahahahaha did that just get said?)
--------------"Me either. But the thing is, is I don't think these girls know how to flirt so guys even know who they're interested in. Then, if a guy goes for it and he's wrong then it's all kinda over ya know?" Rick asks.

So that's that. Girls are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha...I'm only kidding.......or am I? I am....but only a little. Girls need to know how to flirt. At least...Provo mormon girls need to know how to flirt. You know, seperate a "nice conversation" from "I want you now". ( I don't know about you but I make it pretty clear.) And honestly, I don't know if girls get that crazy about guys anymore. haha...maybe a few...ooookkkk...lets begin. Wait wait...Before I begin, isn't flirting just about letting the guy know without letting him know? I do believe I'm right. So...probably make it clear by actions.

A light touch on the arm goes a long way.
Lean in when the guy you like is speaking.
Also. Girls can muster up this sorta look...that is a dead giveaway. Yeah ladies, you know how it is. Or maybe I'm wrong, but now know that there is a look.
This is kinda effective...not sure how much at this point. But okay. Show up to the guys apartment. If the guy likes you at all, he'll be pumped to have you there. It's worked for a couple of girls I know.

Mostly I think girls are just afraid of informing a dude that she likes him because that means he's out of the friend category. Hmmm...then what is this all about? But here is the thing. I would hope two people can be mature enough to not kill eachother just because someone expresses feelings. Yeah. I said it. It happens a lot. It happened to Rick, we talked about it, and it's happened to me. I would also hope we could all be mature enough as well to put them back into friend categories. 

However, some dudes and lady dudes (though rare) are just psychos and don't belong in any category. I've seen that too. Again, if you recall the Hermione post, I just say it how it is. No hiding my feelings here.

Well, other than that. My portfolio is in. Now we wait. A girl from class and I saw the advisor and she said I'd know sometime this coming week. I'm so praying that it works out. I made my portfolio look the best I possibly could and am just trying to not worry about it. I love Provo. If you don't already know and I love BYU. I also Industrial Design. Google Industrial Design Portfolio on image search...or go to That happens to be my favorite website right now. I don't think anything else is happening. I play basketball last night. Still no luck on dunking, but I played pretty well and had a sweet sweet lay up, in which I got hacked pretty hard in mid air and still threw it up and in. I felt a little like Derrick Rose...or....Bill no no! Luke Longley haha or Tony Kukoc.

PS. I have some shoes that I order 9 days ago, still not here? Ta-heck is that about? 5-7 business days...psh...

PPS. What's everyone's facination with Josh Groban?

PPPS. I promise this will be the last boy and girl post thing. I need to post more honey bun that I took home from slid off my cup holder and got fuzzy. Car seat chair fuzz. 

PPPPS. Is it post post post post script? Or should it be the post script script script script?