So hear is the next in a list of dumb fears.
Well. This one is always something I'm always thinking about. And when I say that I'm thinking about them, I mean I'm hardly ever thinking about them.
2. A door opening and hitting me in the face.
Or vice versa. Like. Imagine, if you will, a door that opens out and accessible from both sides. People are going in and out fairly fast. I need to go in. Is there someone coming out??? I dunno. I can't see through wood. I go to open it. I don't hear the person on the otherside. BAM. Has it ever happened before? No. But it's real. Worse case scenario, I die. Best case scenario, we both stop before we know what's happening (the usual). Middle case scenario, I get my hand blasted by the door knob. Think about it.
It's real.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
My biggest fears.
Well. As you well know, everyone has fears. Some greater than others. It's just that I have been accumulating worst fears for quite some time now. Like and I'm not talking about whacked out fears that will never happen. For example, a T-Rex coming to eat you just because you watched Jurassic Park 2 at the midnight showing at age 13. That's ridiculous. Or like those whacky people who freak out at the sight of yogurt.........I watched Maury Povich once and yeah, some lady freaked out at the sight of yogurt. One lady freaked out about making right turns in her car, she only made left turns.... Think about the emissions? You thought it was factories destroying the O-Zone causing global warming??? Wrong! It's left hand turn ladies of the world working their funky routes.
Sorry. Back to it.
Some guy was really really afraid of like squirrels or birds or something. I can understand birds because, son of b, they could poop on you at anytime (happened my first month on my mission). OR the whole group of them could just turn on you like a herd of pack hunting raptors....
Anyway, it's possible.
I'm talking the possible fears of my life. I have developed them over some time and I think they are unique, super unique and I will post them as they come. I call it Jake's Fear collection.
1. Hitting a person in with a car.
So the other night I'm driving around in my roommates car. I was only going to and from campus. It was cold. My windows got a smidge foggy. Suddenly, the fear cropped up. It stems from me driving without my glasses back in the day. I'm not saying that I will hit someone I don't see. I'm talking about a brave soul who thinks he or she can make it across the street before my vehicle comes barreling through and all I see is a blur that comes into the corner of my eye and just catches the corner of my front bumper and goes flying through the air. Remember, it's night time. So he just barely makes it into my headlights, terribly misjudging the run across the street and bam!
It had me checking the sidewalks for a mile. Some stupid dude sweeping in like those dumb birds. How they just decide to take off and sweep in front of cars to birdy fun. Then there's that one bird thinks he's the hot shot and doesn't time it right taking a tumble under the car, sending feathers and beaks everywhere.
Idiot.
Night driving without my glasses is a breeze, my eyes can make out most things. It's just when something impairs my vision, like foggy glass, more than my vision is already impaired, that's when things get freaky. Yeah. It's easy to mistake a shadow for a running man. Anyway. Enough information has been given.
As to not take away from my other fears, I'm going to post them one at a time for individual evaluation.
Sorry. Back to it.
Some guy was really really afraid of like squirrels or birds or something. I can understand birds because, son of b, they could poop on you at anytime (happened my first month on my mission). OR the whole group of them could just turn on you like a herd of pack hunting raptors....
Anyway, it's possible.
I'm talking the possible fears of my life. I have developed them over some time and I think they are unique, super unique and I will post them as they come. I call it Jake's Fear collection.
1. Hitting a person in with a car.
So the other night I'm driving around in my roommates car. I was only going to and from campus. It was cold. My windows got a smidge foggy. Suddenly, the fear cropped up. It stems from me driving without my glasses back in the day. I'm not saying that I will hit someone I don't see. I'm talking about a brave soul who thinks he or she can make it across the street before my vehicle comes barreling through and all I see is a blur that comes into the corner of my eye and just catches the corner of my front bumper and goes flying through the air. Remember, it's night time. So he just barely makes it into my headlights, terribly misjudging the run across the street and bam!
It had me checking the sidewalks for a mile. Some stupid dude sweeping in like those dumb birds. How they just decide to take off and sweep in front of cars to birdy fun. Then there's that one bird thinks he's the hot shot and doesn't time it right taking a tumble under the car, sending feathers and beaks everywhere.
Idiot.
Night driving without my glasses is a breeze, my eyes can make out most things. It's just when something impairs my vision, like foggy glass, more than my vision is already impaired, that's when things get freaky. Yeah. It's easy to mistake a shadow for a running man. Anyway. Enough information has been given.
As to not take away from my other fears, I'm going to post them one at a time for individual evaluation.
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