Saturday, April 28, 2012

So...maybe I should blog.

I feel the need to do something. Blogging seems right. Going into summer I feel like things are already starting to happen. It's craziness. I have a blog post all written up, but it seems a bit untimely.

So I wrote another.

I'm also thinking about how weak I am sometimes. I guess in both mental and physical ways. Mental because I'm susceptible to all the things other people are. Even being an RM and active in the Church. It's lame. No one is ever granted immunity. I don't even think on the other side you are. God became God because continuous correct choices. Boy oh boy, I wish I could get there. Maybe that's why He's really happy. Or has the potential to be really happy, when his children aren't being knuckle heads. And with that, we make a full circle back to me. I'm the knucklehead. And when you look at it that way, it seems more and more impossible to get there. Luckily, we have the Atonement of Christ the Lord that makes any of this possible.

Have you ever wondered what Heaven looks like....or even pre-heaven...which is the post mortal spirit world? I am right now. haha I thought to myself, I bet there are trees, but why? We don't need to breath after this life....there is no death....

These are the thoughts that come when you serve a mission. You kinda move past some of the basics as Paul says "not laying again the foundation", but building on it.

When I was first converted to the church, I really loved the teachings of Joseph Smith. With that said...being converted to knowing the restoration is real, doesn't necessarily give you a testimony of God the Father and Jesus, His Beloved Son.

But you are on the right track.

I was bagging pennied carrots yesterday thinking about all of this. Where my testimony has come since before my mission. It's remarkable the shift from Joseph the Prophet to Heavenly Father and His plan. I wish I could remember the key elements of the switch. I know one conglomerate for sure.

All the Pastors.

It's funny. I don't think they ever argued, that much anyways, the need for a prophet like Moses (however every time Israel is gathered He put someone at the head), but they really knocked into our teachings of Christ. You are saved this and you don't have to do that, Paul this and Paul said that....I mean whatever....Have a productive life, pretty sure if you do nothing you aren't going to be so saved as you thought. Since then, my testimony has switched. I remember countless people who, were I not on a mission, I would have never talked to. It taught me something.

Love for everyone.

I remember meeting people, who were a little crazy, who had crazy ideas, who weren't all there, who lived unhealthy lives, who might not even be able to walk or talk, etc...yet...both them and I were trying to live life. Trying to get by. What was amazing to me is how conscious they were of what they were doing that was damaging to their spirits...whether or not the realized it.

And their faces looked the same way my face looked when I fell short.

So I could never judge anyone. Who am I to do that, who lives in the same world, who struggles with the same or similar things.

I couldn't.

That's where things started to deepen. The need for an Atonement. The universality of the Atonement and the absolute need for a perfect person to do it. As well, the great that will continue to work, here and hereafter. There are somethings I still don't comprehend, but more than ever, since the mission,

I feel Heavenly Father's love.

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