Monday, June 13, 2011

Dating tips? Oh boy...how do I get roped into these things?

Here it goes. To start. I have to release something that I feel like is a no brainer. You CAN wear TOO MUCH cologne/perfume. The other week at work I walked by this girl. I didn't know her, but I did know that she smelled like a fruitful bough. It's not just girls. Guys are sometimes even worse. Fragances are cool I guess...but...stop it. When you smell it in the atmosphere...nay...when you are pretty sure you have taken a shower and washed it off and you go into your room and it still smells like it you have reached the breaking point man.

Guys. Don't wear Brut. That's spicy and gross. They've been mixing that stuff well before we were born, meaning, it's probably not for our generation.

Next. On to dating. So I taught about eternal marraige in Elder's quorom and it seemed like the common consensus was that I write some dating tips. Well...I'm not very good. But here you go friends. I sometimes wonder if there are parts of my life that people shouldn't know. Ok...good golly gosh...Listen I'm only going to say these things once, most of these come from my own experiences. Eh hem...throat cleared. I feel like Alfred Hitchens, but honestly, I want the guys who aren't the hot sporty jocky lamo's to get the good girls.

Also...my stake President said he heard some stuff about the Friend Zone........"oh he's just my friend...or a good friend....or a best friend...."....Well what more do you want? What are you looking for??? That's what he said. Me and my roommates were talking and...you know...a lot of girls have those guys...but just turn a blind eye to them....oh well...

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6/23/2011) Before this starts I would like to add a little disclaimer. People, not gender specific, I've learned something. Just follow what you feel. Take ownership. Because most of the times, that's what's exactly needed in the moment. Don't let fear counsel you, let faith counsel you. Never assume things about any situation (Othello). We are always proned to think, one bad thing ends it all. Ladies, please be patient with us guys. We are slow, scared and probably a little nervous. A good guy will beat himself up trying to be better for you. I say that with a smile on my face.

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One. Awkwardness needs to cease between guys and girls. In order to do that there needs to be change. The worst ideas I've ever heard involve guys going up to a girl's door randomly and asking a girl out. That's just dumb. I've done it...it was awkward. Plain and simple. A.) You are showing up to a girl's door unannounced. I know....how cool is that??? How bold? How daring? How masculine? Wrong friends. From what I have been able to gather girl's dont like being caught off guard. I mean...you need to be  way suave to pull that off and chances are...you aren't. The moral of this first tip is...asking a girl on a first date needs to come out of a already working conversation. Work on it fellas.

One W. This one is for girls. Guys...most guys...have a hard time picking up on hints. So one...either let him know you aren't interested or help him realize you are. I feel like girls are to blame just as much as guys. Don't be lame girls. How else will they know if date 2, 3, 4, 5.....etc is suppose to happen?
Two. This one is for guys and girls. A guy asking a girl out...does not mean marriage. I will slap Provo in the face. I've seen some of this...and you know what? Yuck. Guys don't creep and girls don't trip. All this junk in happy valley is probably why the Prophet has to come out and say things. My bishop says...2,3,4,5,6 dates even more if necessary. Shoosh.

Three. If you are confused communicate with the girl. I say girl...because it's usually the guy that is lost. However, girls never be afraid to come to guy and bring things up.

Four. Take girls to meaningful places and do meaningful things. That's what President Monson says and really, that's good advice all around. Dates should be planned out, paid for and paired off. There are plenty of things to do in Provo...guys we have a secret weapon online. I don't want a tremendous amount of girl's knowing about it so I'm not posting it...maybe I will later...

Five. I'm not sure about this one yet...but always...always ask for a second date. This is only not right when you are absolutely sure you don't want another date. Which does happen. But for the most part I've always went on two dates. Going past that is the step, because then there is somewhat of something happening. I feel like when you get into month's is when you know something.

Six. This one is a Jake and Mateo moment. There is a point in which you have been dating too long for something not to come from it. There is also a point at which if you are a couple and nothing has happened that something is up. I feel both of these is relatively the same thing, but if you have been dating a girl for a year or so and marriage hasn't been a topic...something is amiss.

Seven. Movies are bad dates. Well...bad first dates...and I count first and second date as first dates...sometimes even third. Oh and they are still bad dates. haha...unless you do something cool before the movie.

Eight. Mini Golf is cliche. Dunno what cliche means? Look it up. Also...bad date. Be more creative. If you find the gem online you'll be a lot better of a dater. For instance...Mini Golf on campus with a cup.

Nine. Interactive dates are the best. Things that are unique are the best. Themed dates are hilarious.

Ten. I feel like the best dates are the ones where it doesn't feel like a date, but two friends doing things together.

Eleven...along the same lines...formality gets awkward...and fast. This really should be like...rule 2 or 3, in all honesty. Formality meaning like...dates only on Friday. Talking only on date night. Weirdness like that. Again...if it were me you would already be hanging out with the girl before you date her. Sometimes that isn't possible, but go for it anyway.

Twelve. Don't talk about video games with girls. No brainer? You'd think...

Thirteen. Listen to her. Usually she comes up with better things to talk about. : ) ... "of a truth" haha Acts reference!

Fourteen. (6/13/2011) Show some dang confidence. You are a man for crying out loud. She is a human girl. She thinks, she breathes, she walks, she reacts. Key in on the last one. Guys, I know it's hard. Sometimes, when I'm with a girl, I don't want to screw up. However, a good girl doesn't make things hard on you. Hopefully, she understands you are trying. Sometimes, girls are just as nervous too. Sometimes guys are just intimidated by good looks in general. It happens ladies. Be encouraging of eachother, that ensures a good time. But still guys...you need to be confident...almost to point of arrogant...like arrogant without the pride? So confident...but confident enough that you know that no matter what happens during the date you are going to smash it with your incredible braun.

Fifteen. (6/17/2011) It's probably the best of ideas to look in you're own backyard for possibilities.

Sixteen. (6/17/2011) Guys only. Don't be dumb. Don't show off. Don't be a know it all. The best first impression would come from a date that is nice planned out and not super long.

Seventeen. (6/17/2011) Ok. This should be up in the top 5...but I don't feel like re-numbering things. Don't ask girls out on facebook...wait...like it doesn't matter...Just don't ask any girl out in any electronic form. That's just s-t-u-p-i-d. If I have to tell you this...and its literally something you don't know... I'll fight you...that's no lie. Let me refer you to the end of season 3 of the Office...when Jim asks Pam out for the first time. Sure, tv always works out...but you can do that. (6/23/2011)...um...see also season 5 episode 3 when Michael asks Holly out. Um. That was pretty studly.

Appendix. Mostly for Provo guys.
1. Girls, guys never know when to kiss you or even come near you. Some are cocky go getters like that, but most BYU guys are RM's who respect you. So...it's a two way street, but help a brotha out. Chances are the guy always wants to...haha...so true.

2. (6/13/2011) Guys get jealous super easily ladies...so watch yourself, watch your words and your deeds. I mean they get real jealous. Nothing is worse than having a guy who feels like he's getting snubbed. Hopefully, boys, you'll realize that you are better than that and shouldn't deal with crap. Let me give you one example. Say...you want to go (insert activity...for our purposes let's say hiking...and or running...simple right?) She says she'll go with you...doesn't wait...goes with another guy (and/or makes up a story that she has something else happening to get out of it.). ___BEWARE___ Eminent girl crap, fiendish. Girls might think no harm no foul....Most guys when an agreement like that has been reached, expect it to be fulfilled, it becomes his activity with you...Significance is attached to it...Childish? Maybe so. Avoidable? Abso-fricking-lutely. Girl's if you are sending a message...send a message...your voice...in their ears. That's how it should roll. Haha remember this is friendly advice. Could help avoid situations...who wouldn't like an easier life?

3. Like...I wish games could just be put to an end. Oh... you are flirting with another person to get someone you like to like you more? hahaha Oh good plan...See how it sounds crazy when it's typed out like that?

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(7/13/2011) So whats the point of all this, really? Might I call your attention to Hey Arnold Season 5 Episode 5...it's called Ernie Falls In Love... Tell me tell me after that that you don't get it... That's that's that is the reason.

Boom. If all else fails...niftydateideas.com. Then go to her.

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Remeber, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. (Gotta try.)
Fall down 99 times and get up 100 - D Wade or Allen Iverson

Good luck fellas...and ladies...really...do some stuff too. haha

3 comments:

  1. I'll think of more and appendix some more...it's all a brain storm.

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  2. Jake, I love this! You're spot on with all of it, even good dating advice for old married fogies like me. ;) May I add that lunch dates are awesome?

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  3. Yes...you may add that. Haha...and nah...you should be teaching me! YES though and spread the word!

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