the winter semester wrap up

It's 10:35 in the morning and feels like 3 in the afternoon...so why not blog? It's the first time in a long time that I've been able to sit back and relax and not have to do something. Sure I probably have some design work to do, or dishes, or taking out the trash, or cleaning in general...but I think there are just times when we need to step back. Especially after playng basketball at 7 in the morning (Which I'm loving.) It's been a great semester. It went by so fast that I have a hard time recalling what happened at the beginning of it. (Aside from saying...here we go again.)

It's been nothing short of a bumpy ride. There have been emotions and tempers flaring in my apartment and in my life in general. There have been ups that seem short and downs that seem like eternity. Also, let us not forget the Jimmer days, the days of James Taft, Fredette abou it. I've went to girl stardom with one of my posts. Shout out to the ladies who loved my "17000 girls post"...which is still quite popular...what up with that? But thats not the point of my posts. I just have an opinion.

I've also lost some friends...which...well, is nothing I've ever wanted, but what seems to be only course sometimes. I'm not the kind of guy that ever accepts that things have to be one way, with the scores of possibilites and factors in life. But...then again, usually things like that have to be mutually accepted to work. Somethings are willed by our God, though, and when accepted lead to better and more fruitful things. This has always been the case and is the case in these instances.

 With probably 2 A's and 2 B's coming in InDes all I can do is sit and wait. I can also sit and hope the spring/summer kids suck and drop out. I know that sounds mean, but I like it here and would like to get in and stay. It would be nice to know what InDes is like without all the pressure to out work everyone else. Right now I'm doing alright. This semester was scores better than last semester. I feel like I finished a lot higher than last semester and my professors have really warmed up to me. My work has definitely improved...if I knew how to put pictures on this thing I would certainly be doing that.

I've also had the added stress of Stats 121 and Geo 101. Enough said.

The future is unclear though. "I don't deserve anything", is a quote from one of my friends blogs. I know in my mind that if my pieces aren't better and I dont preform better, I don't get in. I'm not entitled to anything and certainly there aren't and participation awards. It's in or out. I don't think I've sealed my position in the InDes program in any way. I just have to watch, wait and pray. The Lord has helped me to this point. I've prayed over pretty much every piece.

I'm still looking for that special girl. When I seem to think I've found her, that's when I haven't found her. I definitely have my eyes open though...and there is some favoritism going on. haha.

I'm really excited for summer. One of my best friends, Chuckie, is getting married. I've been excited about weddings before, but this one is special. I love that kid. Never met a better example of someone who stays the course...guess that's why I nicknamed him Ol' Reliable. I might be headed out to Missouri again, I know that's make three return visits but thats ok. I'm also thinking about finishing and submitting my piece to the church art competition. It's a secret as to what it is though. If any of my ID friends read this they'll understand...but it'll be nice to do a piece that doesn't serve a purpose..that is simply trying to share a message through a medium...not be a bone or a perfectly constructed rock replica. Ugh...

"Guys if I ever work up enough courage I'm going to go up to her door, knock on it and say, 'Listen girl, me and you need to have a chat...you are so fine I just want to buy you things.'" -- me -- "Because I just don't have anyother way to express my feelings other than buying you flowers and telling you that you are most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You make all the other girls disappear. You make heaven tangible."

Hahaha...I love my apartment and the good times this semester. We practice our sweet talking hahaha...ooookkkk IIII practice my sweet talking and they just shake their heads...hahaha...but really the growth has been nothing short of amazing, we've learned a lot of life lessons together. I love them. Hand selected for this school year? No doubt in my mind.

One more...

"I don't know what you are doing right now but forget it and come with me." haha

Babbbbaaaayyyyyy eeee aaayyyy I get chills when I'm with youuuuuu!

One of the best songs of all time by Sheriff. I love that song. Everytime I see a girl that I like...boom. In case you haven't noticed by now...I give a lot of thought into this girl business. Sure, InDes is fun, but whats the point? What point is there to anything I do to get ahead other than to support a family and perpetuate God's plan? I don't want to hang out with guys anymore. Or ever. Our apartment said that a long time ago...I don't want to see your butt on Friday. General Conference was amazing by the way. Why should anything else take priority? Sure school is fun, rewarding, you name it...but the joy comes in the home. Yeah, even sometimes I need to be hit in that head and reminded of that and thats why I was thinking in my mind...I'm glad conference is every 6 months. I feel like thats how long it takes to get off track, even if its only a smidge.

So the semester is almost over. There are a lot of things I want to write about. For example...my priesthood lessons. I've also had occassion to give three spiritual thoughts at ward prayer. Each made me think a lot. I think I taught "Another level, another devil" at FHE. I learned that one in the hood of KC. I've also had a lot of girl moments....many of which leave me baffled. But whatever. I lou of General Conference I do have a response. A lot of guys don't date girls because some ( well....I mean a lot of) girls have a hard time communicating. That comes from multiple sources and yeah...that can be some of the worst rejection. Anyway, anyway, thats not what I'm talking about. But its true. And don't leave me any negative comments just listen. Sheesh...

I'm talking like guys make a lot of mistakes too. But right now...whats on my mind is something my roommate said. "Find someone that adores you and someone you adore and hang on." Heck yes. The problem is when you adore someone and yeah...not reciprocated. But this is it...True affection. We've been told to go on dates and this is true. I feel like thats fine. I'm talking here about how you know when you've locked something down. True affection. It's when the girl's faults disappear and it doesn't matter what they do because you know the real person. It's when the minor flaws and imperfections in her nature are trivial. When she adores you, and you adore her...and you can tell...I have my own little quote wall on my laptop full of inspirational quotes...one reads...

"Tell a beautiful woman she's beautiful and what have you given her? It's a fact, costing you nothing. Tell an ugly woman she's beautiful and you offer the homage of corrupting beauty. Loving a woman for her virtues is meaningless. She earned it, it's payment, not a gift. Loving her for her vices is a real gift, unearned and undeserved, and that's a real tribute of love, because you sacrifice your conscience and reason."
That strikes me everytime, so powerful. Sometimes, when you find a girl you actually want, that gift is effortless. It's that kind of true affection that leads the guy to change and, in the words of Lenny Williams, "try to be a....betta man for you." Elder Holland said that true affection makes you giddy. Hence, baaaabbbbbbbaaaayyyy eeee aaaayyyy I get chills when I'm wth you. I mean dang, if you can't, with confidence, say that...shoot...I don't even know. Question if it has the legs to go the distance---Andy Bernard--- haha...If you can't, with confidence, say I love you. I don't even know. I could go on. I just love how Elder Holland put it in....probably last conference? Maybe. Either way...when you can look at a girl and say I trust you, you are my best friend, please be mine...thats it....thats the pinnacle. It makes me sad to see when a guy isn't around his girl...doesn't acknowledge her presence in the room. She shouldn't have to command your attention. You just get that feeling that you know... when she's gone and you feel like you are missing something...these are the feelings...

What else can I say...I feel like this is another preachy thing...but no one has to read it. I call it how it is. This is what I feel. Usually I'm right, spot on, when it comes to this guy thing.

That's that. Another piece to the guy riddle. The thing is is a guy knows when he finds that too. At least I think I do. It's only any good when it works out. Much love Pop Tarts viewers...I'll get off the girl thing soon. I just have a bone to pick right now.

Another piece to the puzzle...

I haven't writtn a blog in a while and thats because nothing has really inspired me. I probably should learn to write things as they come. Here is one thing about the Gospel, short and sweet.

I've been intrigued with a teaching of the Prophet Joseph Smith. Most, if not all, Christian congregations believe that God created everything from nothing, nothing existed except for God. Then in some way He created everything that now is out of nothing. What is interesting about that, however, if He did that, He created the very conditions that required the sacrifice and horrible suffering of His only Son. If He is all power why whould He do such a thing? Most, if not all, Christian sects will, at this point, say...

"It's a mystery."

The Prophet taught, because he was taught from on high, that element is eternal, the elements that make us up are eternal, also law is eternal and that there cannot be any creation* to it. This accepted, then Christ was really responding voluntarily to pre-existing conditions that needed to be met. I stress that because God grants us all agency, our own ability to choose. Even Christ had agency to do what He did. He decided to enact His Father's plan, the plan for our salvation. There is then a deeper understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that He "offered Himself a ransom for many". It becomes more powerful and there is a deeper sense of Christ's love for us and for His Father. What strain must have been on the Savior, the necessity for perfection and exact** obedience. But He was not forced, He said in effect, "Here am I send me."

I love the Lord.

I've been astounded recently with the truth that radiates from that piece of revelation given to Joseph Smith. It's amazing.





*There is only organization of existing materials to create, which is a form of creation and creativity. Law stands on its own and has existed forever.
**I also like to think of exacting obedience. Because that level of obedience had to be extremely difficult, to say the least. Some of what He did, however, probably didn't seem hard to Him, but all of it seems hard to me and would exact a lot of effot from me.

Playa's gonna play. Lover's gonna love.

Ok...more things that everyone should know. I didn't use to like BYU, at all really. I never wanted to end up in Utah, then I went on a mission. I came home and decided I needed a life. I also decided I needed a good place to go, with a real program. It's cheap and prestigious and, of course, full of hunnies. I was still skeptical, but I learned the program I got into was nationally admired so I thought well, what the heck. I came, at first afraid, afraid that I had made a bad choice and even more afraid that I was now stuck with it regardless. Now, I don't even want to go home! (Even though last week I was getting home sick.) It's just a contageous place.

I do feel like my welcome has kinda run out. Well, not my welcome, maybe just the intrigue of being the new guy. Everyone was just like, "who is the new kid?" It was probably one of the coolest feelings ever. I feel like that's gone now, after a series of bad decisions in a row. I say things like they are more intense than they really are. They seem bad at the time then reality hits. I'm not talking about it because I don't want to break the rules of my last blog. Girls are at the root of every guy problem. My problem is that I shuffle my feet. Ya snooze ya lose I guess, but I don't like that boundary.

Point is, is now I'm not the new kid anymore and impressions have already been made before people even got to know me. Lame...but what do I do? When I first got here I met some people that, yeah, I wanted to get to know better, but girl struggles came in and the oppurtunities were lost. Dumb distractions. Lesson learned I guess. That new kid feeling is just something you don't get back. When the first impression is made it's hard to change it, unless you are actually drastically different than the persona that a person has created for you in their own mind. It kinda sucks. Maybe that's just why people ward hop here and move all the time.

My bishop was saying that people don't really even start seeing the real you until after about three months. Isn't that the dang truth...but I guess then he was talking about dating...and seeing a person frequently enough. That could even be extended longer when you aren't around a person enough.

Am I talking about something controversial?...I feel like that could be the case. Well...I saved this as a draft because I didn't want to be all somber. Meh, but that's life. Besides I actually want to document whats going on in my liz-ife.

Yeah...that's right...sometimes I think in ebonics. Don't hate.

"Seventeen thousand girls and a brotha can't get a-one of them!"

Is a quote that I said one day to my friend Kyle in girl frustration.

I don't write about girls. I'll tell you why. All ten people who have viewed my posts...and a special shout out to my three followers...It just seems to me that when I write about a girl, or "girls" as a general theme, but mostly when I single one out, I look back and feel stupid. I think, "Psh. Why did I write this?" Most of that stuff I don't really like to remember and reminds me of childish things.

I have broken my own rule, though, more than once. Even recently. But that is in my journal, no one sees it. Ok. Ok. But seriously, first on the list. Provo needs to get a room, just saying. Don't make out in Best Buy. Literally (ok that's Orem but close enough)....nuff said. So I figure that the people want me to talk about it and so I'll give the people what they want. I just feel that a person should be with someone who has similar interests. That's my only thing. When I was younger I probably only picked girls who were, well, aesthetically interesting. Probably not my best plan. My point is, I try not to set rules anymore because that makes things complicated. Just go with the flow, become friends and, as cliche as it sounds, follow my heart. However, I don't feel like I'm just saying that anymore. It's a more refined feeling.

So that's probably all I'll give on the lady-folk. Specifics just don't work and drama just isn't cool. OH! I always want to say this, the girl that marries me gets to go to Hawaii!!! (As if that's any incentive.) Yeah, I served with a missionary from the islands and he said he'd hook me up. I don't even know if I want to go. Maybe someday. Romantic times to me don't have to be so crazy. They can be simple. Romantic things to me are like watching sunsets and being inside when its snowing and just wrapping up in a blanket, together. Heck yeah. Don't get me wrong, I don't just watch snow fall and let it go to waste. But ya'll know what I mean. OH! One last thing on things of romance. I might be a redneck at heart, but I really want to get an old ford truck with a bench seat in the cab. Following me? Well, I was coming home from a church thing one summer evening and the sun was setting and I'm behind this truck, probably made in the early 90's. Anyway, his girl was right next to him, he had his arm around her and was just cruising like a king. Bravo. That'd be sick.

That's legit to me. That's how you treat a girl. She becomes queen of your world. Well, something to that sort. That's probably all you'll get from me on the subject. I just like to be creative, I feel like that's how us guys should show we care. Maybe I'm wrong, but when I heard this guy in Wal-Mart on Valentines Day say, "Dang! Where are the dang three dollar cards, these all cost six!" I just...well one, wanted to snap, two, I wanted to say, "you are in dang Wal-mart, fool", and three, I wanted to say, "dude, your wife is dang worth every penny."

That's what inspires me. So all this is just one big rant, but what I really wanted to say was, I have a break from inDes til Tuesday and thank goodness. Maybe, I'll blog again before that, but this should suffice. Good golly gosh, got me all worked up. Hey look! Alliteration!

Does that blow your mind? Because it blows mine.

So it goes a little something like this. Check baby, check baby, one, two, three. BYU is amazing, simply amazing. I love my InDes classes more than almost anything. I love my roommates more than that, if it were possible. Lance makes it possible.

I've learned more about design than I ever had in my life. The most significant thing I've learned is something my creativity professor said. "The best way to have a great idea is to have a lot of good ideas." That clicked over the break, big time. A lot of design is just cranking out ideas, bad or good. Exploration is the key to innovation. Most of the time the first design idea isn't the best. But it's the essence of those ideas that lead to the great ideas. Basically it's the process of ideation and iteration. We are currently building 16" cardboard stools. A lot, if not all, of the first ideas we had got thrown out.  Whether it was a structural or story problem, they got the boot. When the first boost of inspiration comes, immediately we want latch on to that idea and hold it. It's hard to let go of initial ideas, but that stops fluency, which is the difference between designers and engineers. It's all about attacking a problem from as many angles as possible. I use to throw out ideas all the time when I was studying design in Virginia, now I ask everyone. It's made all the difference.

I don't really know what my nexts posts are going to be like...basically because I'm new at this, however, as soon as something funny happens, I'm pretty sure I'm going to "web-log" it. Because that's what blog stands for right?...Probably not...

The Beginning...

Welp. I started my blog. This is mainly because I have, like, a million friends doing it and I like it a lot. I don't exactly know what I'll use it for, but probably just random babblings and happenings that I feel like I want my family (friends included) to know about. Basically, I'm just saying that no one wants a three page facebook status about my life so come here! Besides, that would just be annoying.