Soft voice...loving touch...

HOT MEAL!!! And not microwave hot either...we are talking stove cooked or crock pot.

Fair.

Kidding...but a good way to start a blog. You are captured, admit it. So this is a quicky but a goody.

I feel like on my list of things all girls should have is a soft voice. We were conversing and we have all agreed on a girl who is quite beautiful. Only one of us has heard her voice though. She is a consesus hunny, but the one that has heard her speak voted out because she had a smokers voice. Just John Wayne stuff. Louis Armstrong. James Earl Jones. Sometimes girls come in with that crackling voice and it's scarey. Like a permanent rasp. That's unfortunate. You just don't want that in a woman.  It's rare that a girl doesn't have a pretty voice.

But really. That and really loud laughing. A girl needs a good laugh. If she comes out cackeling, it's no good. I can't tell you how annoying loud laughing is, but really. Nothing is less attractive to me then a girl laughing obnoxiously loud. I heard a girl laughing through the ceiling the other day. And I said no. Too loud. I couldn't find my ear buds fast enough. Knives. Knives to my ears. Shut up with yourself...no one is that funny. Especially....well I'll stop there....  I also hate when it's fake. It makes me want to punch babies, just ginger babies. That's the devil's water...take a drink and your thrist ain't quenched.

Finally. Girl comedians. Not funny.

(Ladies calm down. If a guy has a squeaky voice...it's all over. Fortunately, I can count on my hand the number of people with this sad dissorder.)

New blog man...It's called...the door step scene.

Hold the applause and drop your draws! Here it comes...the door step scene. Eternally awkward. Eternally constant. Sometimes not awkward...which will not be covered...in this MY FIFTIETH BLOG POSTTTTTSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTSSSTTSSTTTSSS S T S T S T TTTTTT SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS               S. 50.

Now this will be a compilation blog, because it is me compiling two or more blogs into one singular blog. Don't worry though, there will be a page break.

I have been on a number of dates recently and so have my roommates. More often then not the door step scene comes up.

We always think this is going to be awkward. A sudden rush of blood pressure, heart rate picks up, the whole sweat that comes when your brain is on fire, like...you know what I mean? When you start sweating and you are like....well that's not cool, I haven't been jumping rope, but your face is so red it needs cooling. Shooooot. Slow down girl---Uncle Drew quote...easy...

So yeah...I'm gonna talk about it, because you all have already talked about it in your homes. Hitch got it all wrong. What girl fiddles with her keys? Weee-heh-eeee eeeeee need to talk about what really goes on.

From what I know about guys, they use the door step scene as the talking-about-things moment. Granted they actually have something intelligent to say. Which is more rare than one might think. Generally speaking, ladies, you have 1 to 2 dates before getting some kind of knowledge from the guy at the door step. If you have made it to date 3 without anything....um....how? That just seems to be the culture... He wants to know whats happening and I assume you do too. Here are some situations that we often see.

There is the newb. The newbs just get to the end of the date and are like...(in monotone grunts of course) duh I had a good time see yuhhh.

There is girl that freaks at the door hugs and runs in before anything sketchy can go down. She doesn't want awkwardness in her life but always wants the Disney moment. Huh.

There is the girl that hugs before the door, gives the thank you 10 minutes before and takes off. I don't honestly know what that's about.

There is the linger-too-longer. This is where you and the girl are just shooting the breeze on the door step and finally she is just like, ok I'm done. Especially, when the guy is fumbling around with his words and not really saying anything. I can recall a couple like that. I wasn't saying anything worth while. HOWEVER! I have had some great linger longers. You know what I'm talking about.

There is the hand-on-the-handle. This is where the girl has probably had a terrible date and just stands there with her hand on the door handle kinda half turned to you and other half focused on slowly turning the handle until you have said your piece. Well, that sucks, for the guy anyway.

There is the smile-and-nod-until-you-leave-and-say-bye-18-times one.. The girl is 100% agreeable, but probably isn't listening. -- MID-BLOG CONVO BREAK (the girl will be the one with exclamation points, guy with the periods...go) -- We should do this again. Sounds good! bye! I had a great time. Me too! bye! I love you. Uh huh! bye! You look like an ostriche. Thank you! Bye! --OVER-- I hope you read it at the speed of light because that's typically how fast they go....See.... right there is where the girl psyche makes no sense to me.

There is the mutual disappointment. You both know that nothing is going beyond this and you are both like...psh....see ya in the eternities, maybe. Usually on the first date.

I pretty much want to come up with creative solutions to remedy the situation. Maybe dropping a girl of at her window. Or giving her a ladder to get to her balcony. I actually really like the idea of having small cups of ice cream waiting at the door when your date it over...so you can talk while enjoying a tastey frozen treat.

I say all this in good comedy, because it's just funny. That's all. Just funny things.

Sometimes, it just feels like the first couple minutes of this.

I sympathize. And wish this really happened. Stupid Disney....just making the coolest flipping stuff.

Just the iron will of good hearted men haha...

Center stage on the mic. And we're putting it on wax.

It's the NEW style!!! 4 and 3 and 2 and 1 and when I'm on the mic the suckers run. <<dope rhyme>>


I have less to say on this blog than I have in a long time. School is so cool this semester. I feel like I have so much time to do things to get caught up. I also feel like I'm internalizing things. Por exemplo...

ummm...nothing is coming to me...

I had no idea that there is the a chicago style of writing and that the Ensign is written in it. I knew about APA and MLA but...yeah...AND freak in the Chicago style if you do something, then do another something, and then do something else....you have put a comma before the and (see how I did it??? freaking whaaaaa?)

Two, on things learned. Le Corbusier. Technically I learned this last year, but he has over 37 works. They all sell for quite a bit of money. Henry Van De Velde designed the architecture for the Bauhaus and etc. If you don't what the Bauhaus is, well, that's your bad. You can't own much that hasn't been influenced by them...and the Workstadd...thats another story.

Three. I'm not a big fan of the aesthetics valued by Frank Lloyd Wright. So sue me.

Four. This blog is usually about girls. Honestly...I don't have much to say about the subject, things are good I do suppose. Technically this blog was started so "mediocre" guys could find great girls. Kinda a hitch type-thing. Well...also so other guys could know that I struggle and so maybe they'd feel less bad for struggling because I still struggle. Redundant much?

Five. I guess I'm only still numbering this because I started numbering it and it feels like I should still be numbering. Redundant much? <<<< hahaha I'm laughing anyway...just on the couch rolling haha

Six. I guess this was also started so girls...who I have found are my primary readers.... would understand what guys are thinking. Since I feel like I range in what is considered the stereotypical guy. Don't go something like...oooohhhhh Jake you are great....just....stop....and maybe I won't assume the thoughts that are going through your mind. If you are still following me....I still feel like my opinions somewhat match the opinions of other guys. Probably the guys that normal girls (though you are all wonderful...sheesh...cover my butt real quick) like ya'll, will finally settle down with. Not actors or astronauts or stripling soldiers...let me be frank...the stripling soldiers you ladies imagine probably didn't exist, or did but in the same amount of buffy buffs and huge-jawed swag men (Jimmer) that exist today, which if I do some rough number crunching is like 1 to every 30...or a generous 20.

Seven. So guys and gals...mostly guys...here it is...out in the open niftydateideas.com. Go there guys and adapt the doctrines found therein to your circumstances.

That's that's that.

End of the semester/year wrap-up

If you aren't familiar with my blog, well...here it is.



hahaha couldn't help it...that's super corny. At the end of the year I normally do an end of year wrap up. I just try to capture maybe what I've learned or things that happened. But here it goes...

I can't remember what I was going to write about. Oops.

The semester is long since over. All over. Just flat over. It's come and gone. Summer is gone. It's dern cold out. This time last year I had someone to share it all with. This year I have multiple someones. Which is great.

I can honestly say that there are plenty of girls in my life I'd feel happy about dating. I'd move, but at the moment I just don't want rejection. And not that that is exactly what will happen, but...well maybe that is what will happen. Lance and myself have been talking about flirting, we haven't been doing any for a while. Oops. Got to change that.

I've been interning. That has been great. I will have furniture on the market soon. And also, I've been hired. So I'm kinda the lead designer. Yay. It's really fun. I'm always learning under the hand of my boss. He's super cool.

School went well. I came I designed, I conquered. I took marriage prep. I made a piece of furniture and went on 4 dates...an all time low for me. Seventeen credit hours took its toll. I didn't even think about all that. This coming semester I'll be back in the action though.

GOALS for Christmas Break :
1. Hug Mom.
2. Spend time in the scriptures. Basically, I need to jump back in. I read them, but I haven't had much of a chance to really get deep into them. Probably my fault.
3. Have a blast with Dad just running around and shopping and stuff.
4. Make Ron a steak and teach him the ways of the great searers of past times.
5. Make more Sushi with Ronald. I have so many wraps it's dumb.
6. Make my portfolio really good so I can try to intern at puma or nike.
7. Play lots of basketball.
8. I almost forgot, but we need an apartment Christmas card. We do one every year. It's tradition. They keep getting bigger and better every year too.

GOALS for next year:
I need a wife. Basically, I'm tired of living with dudes. I hate it. I have finally reached the point of hate. Just the point of blind hate. Maybe not that bad. I deal. I've just  never met so many dudes that just don't care about community space vs. private space. Like, I don't care what you do to your room, but the living room, that's used by everyone. Take care of it. That's been my philosophy. I have just dealt with it too much. It's over.

Now I'm not going to get all desperate and weird...and creepy. If a girlie comes she comes. Rather, if a girl accepts me for me. haha Then great. I'm sure I'll ask plenty of girls out, but will they say..."hey this guy is cool, dispite his thug attitude"... or ..."Um........no." As if perfection exists. I'm trying to be a guy of guys for girls. I'm really trying. In earlier blogs you'd hear a know it all kid that thought he had it all down. Now I'm just trying to hang on to something. Also...Marriage Resume...haha that was brilliant! I thought, anyway. It makes me laugh.

So that's a goal...above all maybe the only one I care about. It's also a fun goal. Like...some goals are about getting ahead in money and wot not...but this one is fun. It's like "oh get to know  a girl real well"... Yes please. These BYU girls just got me on lock down. They're like kryptonite. I'm not superman........So it's like.....I'm just a regular man and girls are like cinnamon toast crunch.....they lose...their crunch and flavor in milk...........?.....no....girls are like....a prime cut of top sirloin they are better rare..........shoot. They are like...a hot fire...you feel warm when you are near them....I guess that's just true of anything...sharing heat and stuff. I'm just struggling to find it...but life is better with a good girl. :) like what if the world didn't have butter? or chocolate oranges? or tiny cutie oranges? or NBA Jam Tournament Edition? Shoot.

I'm just rambling. Love from this boy, merry Christmas! Byeeee!

Excellence.

I have been thinking about excellence. If I'm being quite honest, it started just watching people. Maybe, it was the way I was raised. Maybe, it was something I picked up from the mission, but it's something that is deep, deep in me. The thought of excellence. The thought of doing something good. Not just good, but well. Not just well, but thorough, thought out. Completing a task from start to finish.

It's a lost art. It truly is art.

A lot of us think of excellence as something only obtainable by a few. As if Michael or Dominique, Da Vinci or Picaso, or real great men like Elder Ballard or President Monson are the only ones capable of doing great things. I don't get it.

There is something special about doing a job well. Consider for a moment that everything is a job. Everything. When you get up in the morning, when you make breakfast, when you do school work or your job, everything can be apart of being excellent.

I don't know when it became the social norm to just suck at everything. I don't know when it became a social norm for people to be dirty. I don't know when it became a social norm to feel entitled to things. I don't know, I don't care.

I just feel like we need to change. I have these problems too. The thing is there is a special feeling to doing a good job on things.

 There is one thing I have learned from being a designer. You can tell who has taken the time. You can tell who started the night before. There is less substantial information. There is a lack of substance. When you rush on something you miss the details. There is no way a design that took two weeks will ever be as thought out as one that took two days.

Consider another example, the Savior, Jesus Christ. Consider that he noticed every detail, even down to a woman touching His clothes in a crowded street. He never left a stone unturned. Can you imagine that when He washed the Apostles feet on that Sacred Occasion that their feet were left half dirty? I imagine their feet cleaner than at any other time in their life.

I know this sounds more like a church talk/sermon than anything. I just can’t imagine sometimes what’s going through the minds of people. An extra half hour to the day, taking time to consider the things less thought about will change our lives. But really though. Do something.

Honestly, I need this lesson myself. Maybe that's why I've been dwelling on it lately. But be real. Stop being lazy. There's no time like the present, says my wood shop professor. If my Mom saw me being lazy or my Dad....they'd mess me up. Stop half-butting things. That's what my Dad would say. Stop half-butting things.

 

 

The Marriage Resume

Alright. I've been thinking a lot about resumes. I'm a professional practices class and we have been making our own resumes. I thought it would be funny if everyone had marriage resumes. It would work something like your reputation. You would exchange resumes or hand your resume to the girl. I thought it was comical. I just thought I'd write my own marriage resume to explain the idea.


MARRIAGE RESUME
Jake.
Address City St 12345
(pho) nen umbe

Work:
Currently designing eco-friendly kids furniture and I love it.

Education :
College student - Indusrial Design. 3.7/4.0 GPA. Student of life. Graduated Seminary. Graduated Institute.

Experience :
I've dated several girls. In which I learned many things about womanhood and such.
Served a mission and had to live with a sloppy dude for two whole years.
I've taught Sunday School twice to 12-13 and 14-18 classes. Taught Elder's Quoram for a year and a half at BYU.

Skills :
I feel like I have an 'ok' handle on the scriptures, but I'm not a general authority (we can learn together ( : ) I can cook exceptionally well. I like to do dishes. I like to be clean and not leave a mess for others. I always want to dress well. I play guitar, drums and uke. I've dabbled in the harmonica. I've been told I do pretty creative dates. I like to do spontaneous acts of service, especially for cute girls. I like to compliment. I bake. I'm thrifty like all Eagle Scouts should be. I can cuddle pretty dece. You may or may not know that I write a blog. I enjoy the company of babies. I can draw. I'm pretty good at working with my hands. I'm not afraid of getting dirty. I am a Smash Bro's Champion. I'm a wood-worker and carpenter when I need to be. I'm devoted to my job, design. I love good design and my house will be modernly furnished. I work hard and usually have some idea where I'm going. Did I mention I'm debt free? Unless you count the Maverick soda I own my roomie. (:

Weaknesses:
I dunno......I can't dunk. I can't bench press over 160 pounds. I'm near sighted. I'm not that fond of dogs, but some are cool. I've never changed a poopy diaper. Occasionally, I like a video game or two. I don't know how to sew exactly, but I make it up pretty well. Spiders and snakes are pretty scary to me. I will also run from a skunk. I'm not the biggest fan of camping, but I like the outdoors and scenic views. I'm a pretty weak swimmer, as in, I could save my own life just probably not yours. In fact I'd probably be a threat to your life more than anything.

Hobbies/Additional :
I like to travel. I have been from the east coast to the west coast. The pacific is cooler, a little more crazy. I like to watch movies, but only ones worth my time, so that means I'll watch anything not a horror movie because they are a waste of time and a disturber of the Spirit. I like soda. I like good food. I love my Mom. Dad is cool.  I miss my cat. I like to bike. Basketball defines me. Fresh Prince is my alternative ego. I'm not afraid to cry though I hardly do unless it's right. There is a time to laugh, to be serious and to cry. I have completed the blaze'n challenge at buffalo wild wings (which was stupid). I enjoy modesty.

Spiritually:
My covenants are everything to me. I don't realize how powerful they are all the time, but I want to honor them. I want to be a "covenant person" and not a "hireling" (conference talk called Sacred Covenants by Bruce Hafen). The Book of Mormon is obviously way important, but the Bible is what I learned on the mission in Independence Missouri. I've never missed church unless I was snowed in or a hurricane threatened my life. I wish I could see what Joseph Smith saw in the scriptures, but I realize that takes time.

Quotes I live by :
"Nothing is learned until experienced." "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." "Anything the Prophets say goes."