So we were talking about things we should do should there ever be a nuclear attack in happy valley. My roommates (and the unfortunate fiance that got stuck in the situation) and I came up with three things that could survive the nuclear event and, therefore, we could use. Thanks to my precious Mother...who still doesn't have my Mother's Day card...oh boy probably should mail that....embarassing...but thanks to her it has become known as the Nuclear 72-Hour Kit.
1.Twinkies.
I remembered on the Simpsons one time, I think, that a twinkie survived the nuclear reactor. This being said, might I offer one life saving tip? Twinkie house. Who needs bricks and mortar? Secondly, who needs a bomb shelter? Head over to your local grocer or costco and pick yourself up a box......or seventy. You know...enough to make un house. Better yet, go to the supplier and order a whole pallet load, twinkie mansion. I don't want Pop Tarts to feel out of the loop so make sure to supply your twinkie house with a box or two. I know what you are thinking, "Hey pal, I don't want to make a twinkie house. The home owners association would flip their lid!" To you I say, I have alternatives. Line your walls with twinkies. However, this is only effective if you know the bomb is coming and you can prepare. Another alternative, is something I really am excited about. I believe you can buy the batter for twinkies. Get it? Just fill your bath tub with batter. The blast is coming, jump in. Theoretically, not only will you be safe, but the blast will bake the twinkies and then you can eat your way out of the golden goodness. :)
2. Cockroaches
No one likes em but dang it, if they can save your life in an atomic blast you better cover yourself in them! Oh come onnnnn. They are just bugs. Alternative. Cover yourself in twinkies and let the roaches just kinda nibble on them. Not only is that double coverage, but you don't have to touch the icky roaches. Sure you could cover yourself in something else and then get the roaches, but it might not be nuclear proof.<---Thinker
3. Diamonds
They say diamonds are/last forever, let's put that to the ultimate test! Under the most intense pressure, these babies are formed. I'm thinking, diamond box, diamond hinges, diamond lock, three inch thick diamond walls, ---oxygen tank---, diamond all-terrain wheels, with a cockroach powered diamond propeller/engine (that way if you get stuck you can just drive your way out). Also...the diamond shelter will also have its own strong radio signal in case you are lost somewhere.
I've always had a theory that the most amazing thing to have in case of intense lava flows, is a diamond bubble or diamond raft. I had just watched Dante's Peak. Ever seen it? You'd want a diamond raft too with diamond paddles. Poor Grandma. The diamond shelter will have the rutter just to get through lava...for nostaligic purposes.
Complete the ensamble by lining the inside with twinkies for cushioning and caloric needs.
DIAMOND SHELTER FOR THE WIN. You'll be able to look nuclear blasts in the face and say, "Stop it. Just stop it. You aren't scary, you."
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Something like an awakening...
Smelly people around me got me thinking about my own aroma. This is serious business.
So I need a new deodorant. Let me tell you why. It's Old Spice. So that's good. But you know how you have to change your alarm sound because you get use to it and you stop waking up when it goes off? Well......that doesn't exactly corrolate.
But I need a new deodorant. The other day I was at work and I realized that I didn't like my own scent. It was really powerful because it went through my lab coat and my hoody. Maybe I was just perspired cutting fruit at a blistering speed and my deodorant decided it needed to work overtime. That's neither here nor there.<---cliche. The point is that I sniffed and yeah...old spice is the perfect name, because it was just that, spicey. My nose tingled a lil bit.
So I'm going to look for a new scent because I figure, new school year, new scent. <---Logic. I want to walk into class like a fresh breeze...like catnip for ladies......like the scent of a wolf shirt or wolf shirt in scent form... I like Old Spice because it lasts long, but I have no desire to smell spicey.
I want a wolf shirt so bad.
I don't think I'd ever wear it. I just want it...I have a shirt with Mr.T's face on it. It's too dominant. It needs competition. (If you want a good laugh search wolf shirt at amazon and look at the reviews.)
There's too many choices of scents. Axe is for tools<---new favorite word. Degree is for women. Right Guard....?...maybe. Arm and Hammer..hahahaha..let's not play, that's detergent in a spreadable solid.
Have you ever had the gel deodorant? like it comes out of little holes in an aqueous state........what the heck is that about? And when you plop it on, it's ice cold. You have to shimmy it on and , from what I remember wearing it in 6th grade, I had to flap my arms around something like a chicken gargonzola to get it to stop being cold. So stupid. Forget putting it on when you're wearing a shirt because once you touch your shirt with it, you get to live with ice cold gel on your shirt.
^^^^That was a rant about gel deodorant. It was too long. haha^^^^
So I dunno. Well that's that. I have my roommates back. Sorry, that could be confusing. My roommates moved in. So expect more of this. Our apartment is full of it. I'm excited for school to start. I also want to play more basketball. Yes. Yes I do.
So I need a new deodorant. Let me tell you why. It's Old Spice. So that's good. But you know how you have to change your alarm sound because you get use to it and you stop waking up when it goes off? Well......that doesn't exactly corrolate.
But I need a new deodorant. The other day I was at work and I realized that I didn't like my own scent. It was really powerful because it went through my lab coat and my hoody. Maybe I was just perspired cutting fruit at a blistering speed and my deodorant decided it needed to work overtime. That's neither here nor there.<---cliche. The point is that I sniffed and yeah...old spice is the perfect name, because it was just that, spicey. My nose tingled a lil bit.
So I'm going to look for a new scent because I figure, new school year, new scent. <---Logic. I want to walk into class like a fresh breeze...like catnip for ladies......like the scent of a wolf shirt or wolf shirt in scent form... I like Old Spice because it lasts long, but I have no desire to smell spicey.
I want a wolf shirt so bad.
I don't think I'd ever wear it. I just want it...I have a shirt with Mr.T's face on it. It's too dominant. It needs competition. (If you want a good laugh search wolf shirt at amazon and look at the reviews.)
There's too many choices of scents. Axe is for tools<---new favorite word. Degree is for women. Right Guard....?...maybe. Arm and Hammer..hahahaha..let's not play, that's detergent in a spreadable solid.
Have you ever had the gel deodorant? like it comes out of little holes in an aqueous state........what the heck is that about? And when you plop it on, it's ice cold. You have to shimmy it on and , from what I remember wearing it in 6th grade, I had to flap my arms around something like a chicken gargonzola to get it to stop being cold. So stupid. Forget putting it on when you're wearing a shirt because once you touch your shirt with it, you get to live with ice cold gel on your shirt.
^^^^That was a rant about gel deodorant. It was too long. haha^^^^
So I dunno. Well that's that. I have my roommates back. Sorry, that could be confusing. My roommates moved in. So expect more of this. Our apartment is full of it. I'm excited for school to start. I also want to play more basketball. Yes. Yes I do.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Flirting/Not Flirting and Life Update.
The people want my life, so I'll give them my life.
Yeah. So I had this conversation the other day with my brother and a great guy in my ward. He's got an amazing testimony and can bear it. Overall just a stud. Ladies? We were talking in his car after a killer fhe playing kick the can. On the way, this one guy from the ward rode with us. He tried to hook up the great guy with this new girl our ward, which listen...that's whack...don't try to hook a guy up with a girl he doesn't know. I would think he'd rather want to know the person first. That's wonkie. Anyway...{scene}...
The car ride back is nuts. Turns out, this dude started walking home with the girl he tried hooking up...you know what...for our purposes lets call him Rick (great guy, testimony, earlier in the blog)...and the dumber broseph...will be...... Stan. Stan is walking home with the girl he tried to hook Rick up with. So we get to talking. and Rick is like yeah...Stan has got his eyes on Ann (another girl in the ward...not the one he walked home with). So I'm like, "yeah...what up with that?" Because this girl has 5 guys around her and her sister every Sunday. Weeeeeird. I mean they are cool and all, but not 5 guys cool. So I asked Rick, "Yeah man. What's with that?"
--------------He says,"I don't know, but I think all those guys are after them...or have tried."
--------------"Yeah...I don't get that." (Not that these girls are homely, but they ain't no Karen Allen. hahahahaha did that just get said?)
--------------"Me either. But the thing is, is I don't think these girls know how to flirt so guys even know who they're interested in. Then, if a guy goes for it and he's wrong then it's all kinda over ya know?" Rick asks.
So that's that. Girls are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha...I'm only kidding.......or am I? I am....but only a little. Girls need to know how to flirt. At least...Provo mormon girls need to know how to flirt. You know, seperate a "nice conversation" from "I want you now". ( I don't know about you but I make it pretty clear.) And honestly, I don't know if girls get that crazy about guys anymore. haha...maybe a few...ooookkkk...lets begin. Wait wait...Before I begin, isn't flirting just about letting the guy know without letting him know? I do believe I'm right. So...probably make it clear by actions.
A light touch on the arm goes a long way.
Lean in when the guy you like is speaking.
Also. Girls can muster up this sorta look...that is a dead giveaway. Yeah ladies, you know how it is. Or maybe I'm wrong, but now know that there is a look.
This is kinda effective...not sure how much at this point. But okay. Show up to the guys apartment. If the guy likes you at all, he'll be pumped to have you there. It's worked for a couple of girls I know.
Mostly I think girls are just afraid of informing a dude that she likes him because that means he's out of the friend category. Hmmm...then what is this all about? But here is the thing. I would hope two people can be mature enough to not kill eachother just because someone expresses feelings. Yeah. I said it. It happens a lot. It happened to Rick, we talked about it, and it's happened to me. I would also hope we could all be mature enough as well to put them back into friend categories.
However, some dudes and lady dudes (though rare) are just psychos and don't belong in any category. I've seen that too. Again, if you recall the Hermione post, I just say it how it is. No hiding my feelings here.
Well, other than that. My portfolio is in. Now we wait. A girl from class and I saw the advisor and she said I'd know sometime this coming week. I'm so praying that it works out. I made my portfolio look the best I possibly could and am just trying to not worry about it. I love Provo. If you don't already know and I love BYU. I also Industrial Design. Google Industrial Design Portfolio on image search...or go to coroflot.com. That happens to be my favorite website right now. I don't think anything else is happening. I play basketball last night. Still no luck on dunking, but I played pretty well and had a sweet sweet lay up, in which I got hacked pretty hard in mid air and still threw it up and in. I felt a little like Derrick Rose...or....Bill Paxton.....no no no! Luke Longley haha or Tony Kukoc.
PS. I have some shoes that I order 9 days ago, still not here? Ta-heck is that about? 5-7 business days...psh...
PPS. What's everyone's facination with Josh Groban?
PPPS. I promise this will be the last boy and girl post thing. I need to post more comedy...like...my honey bun that I took home from work...it slid off my cup holder and got fuzzy. Car seat chair fuzz.
PPPPS. Is it post post post post script? Or should it be the post script script script script?
Yeah. So I had this conversation the other day with my brother and a great guy in my ward. He's got an amazing testimony and can bear it. Overall just a stud. Ladies? We were talking in his car after a killer fhe playing kick the can. On the way, this one guy from the ward rode with us. He tried to hook up the great guy with this new girl our ward, which listen...that's whack...don't try to hook a guy up with a girl he doesn't know. I would think he'd rather want to know the person first. That's wonkie. Anyway...{scene}...
The car ride back is nuts. Turns out, this dude started walking home with the girl he tried hooking up...you know what...for our purposes lets call him Rick (great guy, testimony, earlier in the blog)...and the dumber broseph...will be...... Stan. Stan is walking home with the girl he tried to hook Rick up with. So we get to talking. and Rick is like yeah...Stan has got his eyes on Ann (another girl in the ward...not the one he walked home with). So I'm like, "yeah...what up with that?" Because this girl has 5 guys around her and her sister every Sunday. Weeeeeird. I mean they are cool and all, but not 5 guys cool. So I asked Rick, "Yeah man. What's with that?"
--------------He says,"I don't know, but I think all those guys are after them...or have tried."
--------------"Yeah...I don't get that." (Not that these girls are homely, but they ain't no Karen Allen. hahahahaha did that just get said?)
--------------"Me either. But the thing is, is I don't think these girls know how to flirt so guys even know who they're interested in. Then, if a guy goes for it and he's wrong then it's all kinda over ya know?" Rick asks.
So that's that. Girls are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha...I'm only kidding.......or am I? I am....but only a little. Girls need to know how to flirt. At least...Provo mormon girls need to know how to flirt. You know, seperate a "nice conversation" from "I want you now". ( I don't know about you but I make it pretty clear.) And honestly, I don't know if girls get that crazy about guys anymore. haha...maybe a few...ooookkkk...lets begin. Wait wait...Before I begin, isn't flirting just about letting the guy know without letting him know? I do believe I'm right. So...probably make it clear by actions.
A light touch on the arm goes a long way.
Lean in when the guy you like is speaking.
Also. Girls can muster up this sorta look...that is a dead giveaway. Yeah ladies, you know how it is. Or maybe I'm wrong, but now know that there is a look.
This is kinda effective...not sure how much at this point. But okay. Show up to the guys apartment. If the guy likes you at all, he'll be pumped to have you there. It's worked for a couple of girls I know.
Mostly I think girls are just afraid of informing a dude that she likes him because that means he's out of the friend category. Hmmm...then what is this all about? But here is the thing. I would hope two people can be mature enough to not kill eachother just because someone expresses feelings. Yeah. I said it. It happens a lot. It happened to Rick, we talked about it, and it's happened to me. I would also hope we could all be mature enough as well to put them back into friend categories.
However, some dudes and lady dudes (though rare) are just psychos and don't belong in any category. I've seen that too. Again, if you recall the Hermione post, I just say it how it is. No hiding my feelings here.
Well, other than that. My portfolio is in. Now we wait. A girl from class and I saw the advisor and she said I'd know sometime this coming week. I'm so praying that it works out. I made my portfolio look the best I possibly could and am just trying to not worry about it. I love Provo. If you don't already know and I love BYU. I also Industrial Design. Google Industrial Design Portfolio on image search...or go to coroflot.com. That happens to be my favorite website right now. I don't think anything else is happening. I play basketball last night. Still no luck on dunking, but I played pretty well and had a sweet sweet lay up, in which I got hacked pretty hard in mid air and still threw it up and in. I felt a little like Derrick Rose...or....Bill Paxton.....no no no! Luke Longley haha or Tony Kukoc.
PS. I have some shoes that I order 9 days ago, still not here? Ta-heck is that about? 5-7 business days...psh...
PPS. What's everyone's facination with Josh Groban?
PPPS. I promise this will be the last boy and girl post thing. I need to post more comedy...like...my honey bun that I took home from work...it slid off my cup holder and got fuzzy. Car seat chair fuzz.
PPPPS. Is it post post post post script? Or should it be the post script script script script?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Provo PDA Guide
Short post from a while back.
Hey so guess what...PDA...Public displays of affection=not cool...I'm going to be bluntly honest.
I was visiting with some friends from back home, one a stud in the Air Force dating an amazing girl, the other a stud of life in general, who is married to a great girl.We were chatting it up and we got on the subject of PDA. Just because of awkward things we've had to go through in our day. Let me be frank. PDA is fetching annoying. From three guys whom, I feel, have a good handle on things, it is painfully awkward. Here is a list of things not ok to do in the presence of even one person.
Tickle fights.
The girlfriend voice. (Guys...you know what this is...if not check the youtubes for the SNL skit.)
Kissing.
Making out.
More girlfriend voice.
Pet names.
Loudness in general.
Mushy-ness in general. You know, generally gross private things.
Awkward fights...like...whisper fights...
Laying on one another...which is against the standards of the church anyway.
Let's be honest...it's just bad. How could two people have no sense of awareness...TWO...not just the guy......it's all about that. Like...listen...when no one is around I don't care what you do...really...do whatever you want to do. Just...man oh man...recently it's just been too much. Here are possible things that are ok...
An arm around...
Hand holding...
Normal behavior...
Laughing at jokes...
All ok. Listen...I get that none of this stuff will keep you from getting into heaven, but I felt like this is something that needs to be brought to the forefront.
Hey so guess what...PDA...Public displays of affection=not cool...I'm going to be bluntly honest.
I was visiting with some friends from back home, one a stud in the Air Force dating an amazing girl, the other a stud of life in general, who is married to a great girl.We were chatting it up and we got on the subject of PDA. Just because of awkward things we've had to go through in our day. Let me be frank. PDA is fetching annoying. From three guys whom, I feel, have a good handle on things, it is painfully awkward. Here is a list of things not ok to do in the presence of even one person.
Tickle fights.
The girlfriend voice. (Guys...you know what this is...if not check the youtubes for the SNL skit.)
Kissing.
Making out.
More girlfriend voice.
Pet names.
Loudness in general.
Mushy-ness in general. You know, generally gross private things.
Awkward fights...like...whisper fights...
Laying on one another...which is against the standards of the church anyway.
Let's be honest...it's just bad. How could two people have no sense of awareness...TWO...not just the guy......it's all about that. Like...listen...when no one is around I don't care what you do...really...do whatever you want to do. Just...man oh man...recently it's just been too much. Here are possible things that are ok...
An arm around...
Hand holding...
Normal behavior...
Laughing at jokes...
All ok. Listen...I get that none of this stuff will keep you from getting into heaven, but I felt like this is something that needs to be brought to the forefront.
Drop out of school and run awaaayyyy...
Quit your job you've got a place to stay...pack your bags and hitch a ride. Bremerton is a good place to reside. - MxPx.
I was in an MxPx mood these past couple of days.
When I meet a special girl, she always lives somewhere else in the world. I don't want to call to her on the phone, I want to talk to her when I'm at home. - MxPx
I haven't blogged in a while and that's because I feel like nothing is going on in my life. Really, if I had something I'd surely post it. Here's my day, usually. Get up...drink some wa-wa...hopefully it's cold. I hop on my...well...yeah...I guess so...my bike. I named it Stu. So I hop on my bike and ride to work. Work...ahhh...I feel like I need to write an ode to my job (probably a separate post soon). The beautiful CSC. With it's rugged decor and cold rooms, what a place. It's weird, the people there are starting to feel like family...or... home away from home. I use to just be the guy that showed up for about 2 hours and then booked it every other afternoon. I'm pretty sure only two people knew my name and they weren't in authority at all. Sometimes I would skip a week or two just because of InDes. People thought I quit...how do I know that? Because they'd walk up and say...I thought you quit. I, now-a-days, am an advice guy, the dicer and also find myself working with a bunch of girls............Yeah. I do ok with that. Not that I'm complaining! I'd rather work with a bunch of girls than a bunch of guys. Something about power struggle and competition isn't appealing to me unless I'm on the basketball court.
Summer isn't/wasn't what I was expecting...girl wise... I could blog about girls some more, but what would that really do? I could blog about dates... I could blog about frustration. But meh...not interested in that. Needless to say, it could be better.
I wanted to pick up more hours. So I did, and for a while I enjoyed it. Now. Shoosh. Sometimes its all I can muster to get up and go. Basically, I just can't stand being isolated there. Like...hey man...go do broccoli. "Ohhh fetch" That's what's in my head. I walk over there and know for the next couple of hours I'm by myself. I don't fully know if it's a type of torture yet, but I'm sure there's something to it. Because when you are by yourself and everyone else around you is paired up and doing something and talking and laughing...you are just like...well...I'm not loved. That's the feeling you get. That's no lie. Good thing I'm going to eventually work with a team in design. Shoot.
I love lunch "breaks". It might be the only reason I go to work. It's nice to sit and socialize. We just laugh about anything. Yes. Usually it's the girls that make me laugh. Yeah...I know I know...I'm just as surprised as you are. Haha...kidding ladies...If they read this they'd know that I couldn't just let them win that easy. But it's true.
A simple aside for a moment. I just want to mention the amazing environment of BYU. Anywhere else in the world (Virginia) most girls have mouths. Bad ones. But these girls are some of the best I've ever met. They always talk about wholesome things. I think the dirtiest it's ever gotten was when they a) talked about birth b) talked about someones hips and c) sang a famous song about beans......which I believe was all in the same day...........heh irony...... It truly is the good life. And it's funny.
Part of the reason I haven't blogged is because I'm using most of the material I blog for the purposes of stand-up comedy. And usually I get most of my material from these lunch breaks. I mean...I usually get my material just from ranting about anything when I'm around people, but they usually are the only people I'm around, with the exception of FHE and Church. Maybe it's just me...but it feels like when I talk sometimes its like everyone expects something funny to come out. I hope thats not what it's like when I get into Humor U. Because dang fetch that'd get annoying on-a-counta I'm just a boy, con flab it! (haha thanks Hey Arnold).
And! I'm really white! What the flip is that about? I'm going to lay in the sun all week. Forget that.I'm an italian man. 50% methinks. And my skin can bronze, baby girl. So yEEEaaah.
If you have a brain and use it to, you got to know I have a crush on you. - More MxPx.
I was in an MxPx mood these past couple of days.
When I meet a special girl, she always lives somewhere else in the world. I don't want to call to her on the phone, I want to talk to her when I'm at home. - MxPx
I haven't blogged in a while and that's because I feel like nothing is going on in my life. Really, if I had something I'd surely post it. Here's my day, usually. Get up...drink some wa-wa...hopefully it's cold. I hop on my...well...yeah...I guess so...my bike. I named it Stu. So I hop on my bike and ride to work. Work...ahhh...I feel like I need to write an ode to my job (probably a separate post soon). The beautiful CSC. With it's rugged decor and cold rooms, what a place. It's weird, the people there are starting to feel like family...or... home away from home. I use to just be the guy that showed up for about 2 hours and then booked it every other afternoon. I'm pretty sure only two people knew my name and they weren't in authority at all. Sometimes I would skip a week or two just because of InDes. People thought I quit...how do I know that? Because they'd walk up and say...I thought you quit. I, now-a-days, am an advice guy, the dicer and also find myself working with a bunch of girls............Yeah. I do ok with that. Not that I'm complaining! I'd rather work with a bunch of girls than a bunch of guys. Something about power struggle and competition isn't appealing to me unless I'm on the basketball court.
Summer isn't/wasn't what I was expecting...girl wise... I could blog about girls some more, but what would that really do? I could blog about dates... I could blog about frustration. But meh...not interested in that. Needless to say, it could be better.
I wanted to pick up more hours. So I did, and for a while I enjoyed it. Now. Shoosh. Sometimes its all I can muster to get up and go. Basically, I just can't stand being isolated there. Like...hey man...go do broccoli. "Ohhh fetch" That's what's in my head. I walk over there and know for the next couple of hours I'm by myself. I don't fully know if it's a type of torture yet, but I'm sure there's something to it. Because when you are by yourself and everyone else around you is paired up and doing something and talking and laughing...you are just like...well...I'm not loved. That's the feeling you get. That's no lie. Good thing I'm going to eventually work with a team in design. Shoot.
I love lunch "breaks". It might be the only reason I go to work. It's nice to sit and socialize. We just laugh about anything. Yes. Usually it's the girls that make me laugh. Yeah...I know I know...I'm just as surprised as you are. Haha...kidding ladies...If they read this they'd know that I couldn't just let them win that easy. But it's true.
A simple aside for a moment. I just want to mention the amazing environment of BYU. Anywhere else in the world (Virginia) most girls have mouths. Bad ones. But these girls are some of the best I've ever met. They always talk about wholesome things. I think the dirtiest it's ever gotten was when they a) talked about birth b) talked about someones hips and c) sang a famous song about beans......which I believe was all in the same day...........heh irony...... It truly is the good life. And it's funny.
Part of the reason I haven't blogged is because I'm using most of the material I blog for the purposes of stand-up comedy. And usually I get most of my material from these lunch breaks. I mean...I usually get my material just from ranting about anything when I'm around people, but they usually are the only people I'm around, with the exception of FHE and Church. Maybe it's just me...but it feels like when I talk sometimes its like everyone expects something funny to come out. I hope thats not what it's like when I get into Humor U. Because dang fetch that'd get annoying on-a-counta I'm just a boy, con flab it! (haha thanks Hey Arnold).
And! I'm really white! What the flip is that about? I'm going to lay in the sun all week. Forget that.I'm an italian man. 50% methinks. And my skin can bronze, baby girl. So yEEEaaah.
If you have a brain and use it to, you got to know I have a crush on you. - More MxPx.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I wanna be the guy.
Turns out there is a video game that was made by a guy called I Wanna Be The Guy. This video game takes the hardest parts from some of the most classic games and compiles them into one game, this way, you, could be the guy. You could be the guy that won the game, saved the princess...........got the princess...beat dracula, saved the world, beat up Robotnic...and Knuckles, probably beat Streets of Rage (Mr.X the jig is up!) and beat Battletoads (NOT the full game just the end boss).......(WHICH I have beat it for NES...it's honestly the hardest game of all time. It took an eternity to beat...just play it sometime...you'll see. It's like I dunno, you have to be perfect in like three or four different parts. Eventually, yeah, I was perfect at it. That's not even bragging. Eventually, you play something enough that you memorize the pattern. It's as easy *or hard* as that...it took...a long time...It makes me realize, in an infinitesimally small way, what eternity is going to be like, so I appreciate it more. And that's something.....right?)...I digress...
It's an interesting thought. I want to be the guy. Who doesn't want to be the guy? Who doesn't want the story book ending? Who doesn't want to be the guy that saves the day? Who basically gets what he wants? Like...it's so crazy...you are the guy that is there at the perfect moment everytime.
I have thought about this phrase a little bit, if you can't tell. It's intriguing to me and I love the thought of it, it's pretty inspiring.
It's an interesting thought. I want to be the guy. Who doesn't want to be the guy? Who doesn't want the story book ending? Who doesn't want to be the guy that saves the day? Who basically gets what he wants? Like...it's so crazy...you are the guy that is there at the perfect moment everytime.
I have thought about this phrase a little bit, if you can't tell. It's intriguing to me and I love the thought of it, it's pretty inspiring.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Dating tips? Oh boy...how do I get roped into these things?
Here it goes. To start. I have to release something that I feel like is a no brainer. You CAN wear TOO MUCH cologne/perfume. The other week at work I walked by this girl. I didn't know her, but I did know that she smelled like a fruitful bough. It's not just girls. Guys are sometimes even worse. Fragances are cool I guess...but...stop it. When you smell it in the atmosphere...nay...when you are pretty sure you have taken a shower and washed it off and you go into your room and it still smells like it you have reached the breaking point man.
Guys. Don't wear Brut. That's spicy and gross. They've been mixing that stuff well before we were born, meaning, it's probably not for our generation.
Next. On to dating. So I taught about eternal marraige in Elder's quorom and it seemed like the common consensus was that I write some dating tips. Well...I'm not very good. But here you go friends. I sometimes wonder if there are parts of my life that people shouldn't know. Ok...good golly gosh...Listen I'm only going to say these things once, most of these come from my own experiences. Eh hem...throat cleared. I feel like Alfred Hitchens, but honestly, I want the guys who aren't the hot sporty jocky lamo's to get the good girls.
Also...my stake President said he heard some stuff about the Friend Zone........"oh he's just my friend...or a good friend....or a best friend...."....Well what more do you want? What are you looking for??? That's what he said. Me and my roommates were talking and...you know...a lot of girls have those guys...but just turn a blind eye to them....oh well...
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6/23/2011) Before this starts I would like to add a little disclaimer. People, not gender specific, I've learned something. Just follow what you feel. Take ownership. Because most of the times, that's what's exactly needed in the moment. Don't let fear counsel you, let faith counsel you. Never assume things about any situation (Othello). We are always proned to think, one bad thing ends it all. Ladies, please be patient with us guys. We are slow, scared and probably a little nervous. A good guy will beat himself up trying to be better for you. I say that with a smile on my face.
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One. Awkwardness needs to cease between guys and girls. In order to do that there needs to be change. The worst ideas I've ever heard involve guys going up to a girl's door randomly and asking a girl out. That's just dumb. I've done it...it was awkward. Plain and simple. A.) You are showing up to a girl's door unannounced. I know....how cool is that??? How bold? How daring? How masculine? Wrong friends. From what I have been able to gather girl's dont like being caught off guard. I mean...you need to be way suave to pull that off and chances are...you aren't. The moral of this first tip is...asking a girl on a first date needs to come out of a already working conversation. Work on it fellas.
One W. This one is for girls. Guys...most guys...have a hard time picking up on hints. So one...either let him know you aren't interested or help him realize you are. I feel like girls are to blame just as much as guys. Don't be lame girls. How else will they know if date 2, 3, 4, 5.....etc is suppose to happen?
Two. This one is for guys and girls. A guy asking a girl out...does not mean marriage. I will slap Provo in the face. I've seen some of this...and you know what? Yuck. Guys don't creep and girls don't trip. All this junk in happy valley is probably why the Prophet has to come out and say things. My bishop says...2,3,4,5,6 dates even more if necessary. Shoosh.
Three. If you are confused communicate with the girl. I say girl...because it's usually the guy that is lost. However, girls never be afraid to come to guy and bring things up.
Four. Take girls to meaningful places and do meaningful things. That's what President Monson says and really, that's good advice all around. Dates should be planned out, paid for and paired off. There are plenty of things to do in Provo...guys we have a secret weapon online. I don't want a tremendous amount of girl's knowing about it so I'm not posting it...maybe I will later...
Five. I'm not sure about this one yet...but always...always ask for a second date. This is only not right when you are absolutely sure you don't want another date. Which does happen. But for the most part I've always went on two dates. Going past that is the step, because then there is somewhat of something happening. I feel like when you get into month's is when you know something.
Six. This one is a Jake and Mateo moment. There is a point in which you have been dating too long for something not to come from it. There is also a point at which if you are a couple and nothing has happened that something is up. I feel both of these is relatively the same thing, but if you have been dating a girl for a year or so and marriage hasn't been a topic...something is amiss.
Seven. Movies are bad dates. Well...bad first dates...and I count first and second date as first dates...sometimes even third. Oh and they are still bad dates. haha...unless you do something cool before the movie.
Eight. Mini Golf is cliche. Dunno what cliche means? Look it up. Also...bad date. Be more creative. If you find the gem online you'll be a lot better of a dater. For instance...Mini Golf on campus with a cup.
Nine. Interactive dates are the best. Things that are unique are the best. Themed dates are hilarious.
Ten. I feel like the best dates are the ones where it doesn't feel like a date, but two friends doing things together.
Eleven...along the same lines...formality gets awkward...and fast. This really should be like...rule 2 or 3, in all honesty. Formality meaning like...dates only on Friday. Talking only on date night. Weirdness like that. Again...if it were me you would already be hanging out with the girl before you date her. Sometimes that isn't possible, but go for it anyway.
Twelve. Don't talk about video games with girls. No brainer? You'd think...
Thirteen. Listen to her. Usually she comes up with better things to talk about. : ) ... "of a truth" haha Acts reference!
Fourteen. (6/13/2011) Show some dang confidence. You are a man for crying out loud. She is a human girl. She thinks, she breathes, she walks, she reacts. Key in on the last one. Guys, I know it's hard. Sometimes, when I'm with a girl, I don't want to screw up. However, a good girl doesn't make things hard on you. Hopefully, she understands you are trying. Sometimes, girls are just as nervous too. Sometimes guys are just intimidated by good looks in general. It happens ladies. Be encouraging of eachother, that ensures a good time. But still guys...you need to be confident...almost to point of arrogant...like arrogant without the pride? So confident...but confident enough that you know that no matter what happens during the date you are going to smash it with your incredible braun.
Fifteen. (6/17/2011) It's probably the best of ideas to look in you're own backyard for possibilities.
Sixteen. (6/17/2011) Guys only. Don't be dumb. Don't show off. Don't be a know it all. The best first impression would come from a date that is nice planned out and not super long.
Seventeen. (6/17/2011) Ok. This should be up in the top 5...but I don't feel like re-numbering things. Don't ask girls out on facebook...wait...like it doesn't matter...Just don't ask any girl out in any electronic form. That's just s-t-u-p-i-d. If I have to tell you this...and its literally something you don't know... I'll fight you...that's no lie. Let me refer you to the end of season 3 of the Office...when Jim asks Pam out for the first time. Sure, tv always works out...but you can do that. (6/23/2011)...um...see also season 5 episode 3 when Michael asks Holly out. Um. That was pretty studly.
Appendix. Mostly for Provo guys.
1. Girls, guys never know when to kiss you or even come near you. Some are cocky go getters like that, but most BYU guys are RM's who respect you. So...it's a two way street, but help a brotha out. Chances are the guy always wants to...haha...so true.
2. (6/13/2011) Guys get jealous super easily ladies...so watch yourself, watch your words and your deeds. I mean they get real jealous. Nothing is worse than having a guy who feels like he's getting snubbed. Hopefully, boys, you'll realize that you are better than that and shouldn't deal with crap. Let me give you one example. Say...you want to go (insert activity...for our purposes let's say hiking...and or running...simple right?) She says she'll go with you...doesn't wait...goes with another guy (and/or makes up a story that she has something else happening to get out of it.). ___BEWARE___ Eminent girl crap, fiendish. Girls might think no harm no foul....Most guys when an agreement like that has been reached, expect it to be fulfilled, it becomes his activity with you...Significance is attached to it...Childish? Maybe so. Avoidable? Abso-fricking-lutely. Girl's if you are sending a message...send a message...your voice...in their ears. That's how it should roll. Haha remember this is friendly advice. Could help avoid situations...who wouldn't like an easier life?
3. Like...I wish games could just be put to an end. Oh... you are flirting with another person to get someone you like to like you more? hahaha Oh good plan...See how it sounds crazy when it's typed out like that?
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(7/13/2011) So whats the point of all this, really? Might I call your attention to Hey Arnold Season 5 Episode 5...it's called Ernie Falls In Love... Tell me tell me after that that you don't get it... That's that's that is the reason.
Boom. If all else fails...niftydateideas.com. Then go to her.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remeber, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. (Gotta try.)
Fall down 99 times and get up 100 - D Wade or Allen Iverson
Good luck fellas...and ladies...really...do some stuff too. haha
Guys. Don't wear Brut. That's spicy and gross. They've been mixing that stuff well before we were born, meaning, it's probably not for our generation.
Next. On to dating. So I taught about eternal marraige in Elder's quorom and it seemed like the common consensus was that I write some dating tips. Well...I'm not very good. But here you go friends. I sometimes wonder if there are parts of my life that people shouldn't know. Ok...good golly gosh...Listen I'm only going to say these things once, most of these come from my own experiences. Eh hem...throat cleared. I feel like Alfred Hitchens, but honestly, I want the guys who aren't the hot sporty jocky lamo's to get the good girls.
Also...my stake President said he heard some stuff about the Friend Zone........"oh he's just my friend...or a good friend....or a best friend...."....Well what more do you want? What are you looking for??? That's what he said. Me and my roommates were talking and...you know...a lot of girls have those guys...but just turn a blind eye to them....oh well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/23/2011) Before this starts I would like to add a little disclaimer. People, not gender specific, I've learned something. Just follow what you feel. Take ownership. Because most of the times, that's what's exactly needed in the moment. Don't let fear counsel you, let faith counsel you. Never assume things about any situation (Othello). We are always proned to think, one bad thing ends it all. Ladies, please be patient with us guys. We are slow, scared and probably a little nervous. A good guy will beat himself up trying to be better for you. I say that with a smile on my face.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One. Awkwardness needs to cease between guys and girls. In order to do that there needs to be change. The worst ideas I've ever heard involve guys going up to a girl's door randomly and asking a girl out. That's just dumb. I've done it...it was awkward. Plain and simple. A.) You are showing up to a girl's door unannounced. I know....how cool is that??? How bold? How daring? How masculine? Wrong friends. From what I have been able to gather girl's dont like being caught off guard. I mean...you need to be way suave to pull that off and chances are...you aren't. The moral of this first tip is...asking a girl on a first date needs to come out of a already working conversation. Work on it fellas.
One W. This one is for girls. Guys...most guys...have a hard time picking up on hints. So one...either let him know you aren't interested or help him realize you are. I feel like girls are to blame just as much as guys. Don't be lame girls. How else will they know if date 2, 3, 4, 5.....etc is suppose to happen?
Two. This one is for guys and girls. A guy asking a girl out...does not mean marriage. I will slap Provo in the face. I've seen some of this...and you know what? Yuck. Guys don't creep and girls don't trip. All this junk in happy valley is probably why the Prophet has to come out and say things. My bishop says...2,3,4,5,6 dates even more if necessary. Shoosh.
Three. If you are confused communicate with the girl. I say girl...because it's usually the guy that is lost. However, girls never be afraid to come to guy and bring things up.
Four. Take girls to meaningful places and do meaningful things. That's what President Monson says and really, that's good advice all around. Dates should be planned out, paid for and paired off. There are plenty of things to do in Provo...guys we have a secret weapon online. I don't want a tremendous amount of girl's knowing about it so I'm not posting it...maybe I will later...
Five. I'm not sure about this one yet...but always...always ask for a second date. This is only not right when you are absolutely sure you don't want another date. Which does happen. But for the most part I've always went on two dates. Going past that is the step, because then there is somewhat of something happening. I feel like when you get into month's is when you know something.
Six. This one is a Jake and Mateo moment. There is a point in which you have been dating too long for something not to come from it. There is also a point at which if you are a couple and nothing has happened that something is up. I feel both of these is relatively the same thing, but if you have been dating a girl for a year or so and marriage hasn't been a topic...something is amiss.
Seven. Movies are bad dates. Well...bad first dates...and I count first and second date as first dates...sometimes even third. Oh and they are still bad dates. haha...unless you do something cool before the movie.
Eight. Mini Golf is cliche. Dunno what cliche means? Look it up. Also...bad date. Be more creative. If you find the gem online you'll be a lot better of a dater. For instance...Mini Golf on campus with a cup.
Nine. Interactive dates are the best. Things that are unique are the best. Themed dates are hilarious.
Ten. I feel like the best dates are the ones where it doesn't feel like a date, but two friends doing things together.
Eleven...along the same lines...formality gets awkward...and fast. This really should be like...rule 2 or 3, in all honesty. Formality meaning like...dates only on Friday. Talking only on date night. Weirdness like that. Again...if it were me you would already be hanging out with the girl before you date her. Sometimes that isn't possible, but go for it anyway.
Twelve. Don't talk about video games with girls. No brainer? You'd think...
Thirteen. Listen to her. Usually she comes up with better things to talk about. : ) ... "of a truth" haha Acts reference!
Fourteen. (6/13/2011) Show some dang confidence. You are a man for crying out loud. She is a human girl. She thinks, she breathes, she walks, she reacts. Key in on the last one. Guys, I know it's hard. Sometimes, when I'm with a girl, I don't want to screw up. However, a good girl doesn't make things hard on you. Hopefully, she understands you are trying. Sometimes, girls are just as nervous too. Sometimes guys are just intimidated by good looks in general. It happens ladies. Be encouraging of eachother, that ensures a good time. But still guys...you need to be confident...almost to point of arrogant...like arrogant without the pride? So confident...but confident enough that you know that no matter what happens during the date you are going to smash it with your incredible braun.
Fifteen. (6/17/2011) It's probably the best of ideas to look in you're own backyard for possibilities.
Sixteen. (6/17/2011) Guys only. Don't be dumb. Don't show off. Don't be a know it all. The best first impression would come from a date that is nice planned out and not super long.
Seventeen. (6/17/2011) Ok. This should be up in the top 5...but I don't feel like re-numbering things. Don't ask girls out on facebook...wait...like it doesn't matter...Just don't ask any girl out in any electronic form. That's just s-t-u-p-i-d. If I have to tell you this...and its literally something you don't know... I'll fight you...that's no lie. Let me refer you to the end of season 3 of the Office...when Jim asks Pam out for the first time. Sure, tv always works out...but you can do that. (6/23/2011)...um...see also season 5 episode 3 when Michael asks Holly out. Um. That was pretty studly.
Appendix. Mostly for Provo guys.
1. Girls, guys never know when to kiss you or even come near you. Some are cocky go getters like that, but most BYU guys are RM's who respect you. So...it's a two way street, but help a brotha out. Chances are the guy always wants to...haha...so true.
2. (6/13/2011) Guys get jealous super easily ladies...so watch yourself, watch your words and your deeds. I mean they get real jealous. Nothing is worse than having a guy who feels like he's getting snubbed. Hopefully, boys, you'll realize that you are better than that and shouldn't deal with crap. Let me give you one example. Say...you want to go (insert activity...for our purposes let's say hiking...and or running...simple right?) She says she'll go with you...doesn't wait...goes with another guy (and/or makes up a story that she has something else happening to get out of it.). ___BEWARE___ Eminent girl crap, fiendish. Girls might think no harm no foul....Most guys when an agreement like that has been reached, expect it to be fulfilled, it becomes his activity with you...Significance is attached to it...Childish? Maybe so. Avoidable? Abso-fricking-lutely. Girl's if you are sending a message...send a message...your voice...in their ears. That's how it should roll. Haha remember this is friendly advice. Could help avoid situations...who wouldn't like an easier life?
3. Like...I wish games could just be put to an end. Oh... you are flirting with another person to get someone you like to like you more? hahaha Oh good plan...See how it sounds crazy when it's typed out like that?
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(7/13/2011) So whats the point of all this, really? Might I call your attention to Hey Arnold Season 5 Episode 5...it's called Ernie Falls In Love... Tell me tell me after that that you don't get it... That's that's that is the reason.
Boom. If all else fails...niftydateideas.com. Then go to her.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remeber, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. (Gotta try.)
Fall down 99 times and get up 100 - D Wade or Allen Iverson
Good luck fellas...and ladies...really...do some stuff too. haha
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